Reflection
by ImNotCallingYouALiar
Summary: We were a mirror image. One half of a whole. Our bond was unbreakable, or so I thought. For as long as I could remember we had shared everything. But what if I found the one thing I didn't want to give up? He was supposed to be my wolf. T for safety.
1. Running

_Hola amigas. This story is going to be a little different and I'd like you to make the choice on how I continue. Have a read…_

Sinking deeper into the sand I curled and uncurled my toes as the cold wind caressed my face. Tilting my head back slightly I listened as the nearby waves crashed against the domineering cliffs, all else was silent. My head was a mess of scrambled emotions and morals and for once in my live I didn't seem to have an answer. Beside me Paul shifted uncomfortably in the sand, automatically I flinched away from his comforting warmth. Everything was so confusing. Too bloody confusing.

"I don't know why I told her," he murmured. As always his voice sent shivers down my spine but for once I did not try to push them away. Everything I felt seemed so natural. So right. Too bad I was living in a world that shouldn't be real, that according to logic should not exist. Before meeting Paul I had been a closet fan of fairytales and happy endings but since meeting him I had learned that fantasy may be magical but it can be twisted and permanently damage people in unimaginable ways. I bit down hard on my bottom lip as I thought of Emily's scarred face.

But whatever I felt for him- I shivered slightly- for Paul, I had to ignore because according to his crappy magical mumbo jumbo he was not mine. He was never going to be mine. I thought I had accepted that, but instead I realised I had been suffocating myself, forcing myself to deny my feelings instead of admitting I had them and turning away. He was hurting me, he was always hurting me. And I didn't know if I could handle much more pain in my life.

"You had to tell her," I tried to keep my voice calm for his sake, he was already going through enough turmoil, "she's your other half," I swallowed loudly, "your soul mate."

"I did it all wrong," his voice was laced with anger but I did not flinch, "all _wrong_. It should have been simple. It _should_ have felt like a relief. It should have been like when I told you and-"

"Lisa is _not_ me Paul," the bitterness could not help but seep into my voice. Feeling his eyes on me I curled my hands into fists and continued to stare out at the sea, wishing somehow that it would drown all my sorrows.

"I know that," Paul whispered, "sometimes I just wish she was. Sometimes I just wish-"

I edged away from his outstretched hand as an image of my sister flashed into my head. Her wide eyes rimmed with redness and her sobbing as she had crawled into bed the night before. Her anger as she had slammed the door in Paul's face. I couldn't hurt her, she was more important to me than anyone else in the world and she would always come first. I knew she loved him, I could see it in her every movement, her every sigh. I would not be the one to destroy that love.

"This is real life Paul," I spoke calmly still refusing to face him, "there is no room for wishes-"

"Lily-" he began his voice strained. I curled my hands tighter letting my fingernails dig into the palm of my hand reminding myself of the pain that had engulfed me when he had first laid eyes on Lisa. Life was not a fairytale. Not everyone got a prince.

"_No_. There is no room for wishes. You love her, she loves you," my voice quietened to a whisper. Spits of rain began to fall around us and I closed my eyes so he would not see me cry. I had to be strong. I was always the strong one despite what others thought.

"But I love you too," his voice was hushed almost as if he was scared to speak the words aloud. His confession kicked me in the stomach and I felt the urge to vomit. Scrambling to my feet I whirled to face him, he had no idea how he was effecting me, how my life was a mess because of him.

"_No_," I shrieked, "No way. You do _not_ get to say that ever. Don't dare say you love me Paul Meraz. You love my sister. _She_ is you imprint, the love of your live. The End. Finito. Finished. You are not allowed to love me."

Forcing myself to look into the silver of his eyes my breath caught at the pain I saw in them. Stumbling backwards I remembered the softness of his lips on mine and his laughter as he had chased me down the very beach that we stood on. The rain fell harder around us.

"But its true," I took another step backward as he stepped forward trembling slightly, "nothing is going the way it is supposed to. I am not supposed to love you but I do. I am not supposed to want to kiss you but I do. I am not supposed to feel jealous when I see you in some other idiot's arms but I do. I do Lily. I _do_!"

"But none of that matters," I snapped a tear leaking out of the corner of my eye, "can you see none of that matters? You cannot deny the imprint and I will _never_ cause my sister pain ever. This is the end Paul."

"No it's not," his voice was firm and I felt small as he stood up to his full height. My heart seemed to crack a little with every word he spoke. Breathing in the salty air around me I smiled up at him. A watery smile.

"Tell me you don't love her Paul. Tell me you don't love Lisa," I felt like an awful person, my selfishness tore at my insides and I found it hard to breath. But I already knew the answer, of course I did.

"I…I-" Paul began but he couldn't finish as he shuffled from foot to foot lines forming on his forehead. His whole frame began to shake.

"Goodbye Paul," I murmured, "apologize to my sister, live your life."

"Lily!" he roared after me as I turned to walk away. I forced my legs to keep moving. I felt like I was leaving a little piece of my heart behind me.

"Goodbye Paul," I whispered again as I sped up into a run. I heard a distinct growl and a ripping sound. I was too much of a coward to look back and see the wolf I had come to love standing in the rain.

As I neared home I crumpled to the sidewalk as tears fell furiously down my face. I had never been in so much pain. I could taste Paul's lips on mine. I could see Paul's crooked smile and hear his voice raised in anger. I could feel his warmth as he pressed his body against mine and feel the fur of his wolf as I stroked it. My heart sped in and the slammed against my chest as I continued to sob. He was not mine to remember. He was not my soul mate. He would never be mine. Ever.

"Lily?" a small voice murmured. Peering up through my tears my breath caught in my throat as Kim knelt cautiously down beside me her mouth tilted downwards into a frown. Unintentionally I grabbed onto her arm tightly, as if she were the only thing left I had to hold onto. She pulled me tight against her and murmured quietly to me as if she had been waiting for my heartbreak, as if she had rehearsed what to say. Everyone had known the 'just friends' title was never going to work where Paul and I were involved, why had I been so blind? Or maybe I had just been reluctant to see what was right in front of me. I had been a coward. A selfish coward.

"Everything is going to be alright," Kim continued to whisper soothing words in my ear but I continued to sob as the pain consumed me. I was being so weak, that realisation triggered more tears.

"H-he was n-never mine," I hiccupped clutching Kim tighter, "I-I'm a b-bitch."

"No," Kim's voice was strong but I saw her wince as I continued to grip her tighter, "you are not-"

"Kim," a low voice interrupted, "we should take her home. I'll go get the truck?"

Looking up I flinched backwards from Jared's soft gaze. The awkward way in which he stood looking down at us reminded me of Paul and even from the ground I could feel the warmth radiating from him. I choked back another sob. Of course Jared was with Kim. They were always together. Always. They were soul mates after all.

It struck me suddenly that I would not only be losing Paul but Kim too. And Jared. And Seth. And Emily. And Brady. And Colin. Everyone I had come to love unconditionally throughout the months would no longer be a part of my life. They were Lisa's new family, not mine. I had been foolish to think they cared about me, they all knew what had been coming, they had all known I would be thrown to the side as soon as Paul imprinted. Realising what I had to do my body began to numb all over as if detaching itself from my emotions. I hated myself for what I was about to do, but it was necessary.

"N-no," I snapped pulling myself away from Kim as I stood up, "I do not need a lift home. I'll be fine."

"You cant walk home in this weather," Kim smiled weakly at me, " we'll even make a pit stop so you can buy ice cream on the way home?" Jared stepped closer to her and I swallowed a lump in my throat as she snuggled almost without thinking into his side. My heart thumped in my chest. They were too sickeningly perfect together.

"I don't need your pity," I snarled turning to walk away but Jared caught my arm before I could move, his eyes were narrowed.

"I'm your friend," Kim's voice was unsure as Jared rubbed soothing circles on her arm.

"No your _not_ Kim. We don't all live in your perfect little world with your perfect boyfriend and your perfect family. I am _not_ your friend. You're nothing but dependant and meek. All you do is hide behind's Jared's shadow," every word I shouted seemed to burn the back of my throat and I felt physically sick as Kim's face crumbled with my every word, tears shone in her eyes.

"How _dare_ you?" Jared clutched my arm tighter as his eyes blazed with fury, his whole frame trembled.

"You don't mean that. You're just angry with Paul. You're not thinking straight," Kim shook her head in denial. Why was she making everything so damn hard? Couldn't she see that I couldn't be her friend? Couldn't she see that every time her and Jared kissed it filled me with pain and every single thing I said in her presence her boyfriend could replay to Paul later on patrol. Everything was messed up. She should have been thankful that I was saving her from a pain in the ass, deranged failure such as myself.

"I really do Kim," I lied through my gritted teeth, "you are pathetic. _Pathetic_."

I held back a scream as Jared clutched my arm tighter, swinging his free hand back his eyes narrowed as if he was ready to swing at me.

"Come on Jared," I urged, "hit me."

He looked blankly down at my arm as if only just realising he was holding it in his grasp before taking a step back his whole body still trembling.

"I know Paul has hurt you," Kim continued to plead with me, "you're not thinking clearly. Please just let us take you home."

"Goodbye Kim," I tried unsuccessfully to lace my voice with bitterness, "don't sign your live away to that jackass too easily. See you around."

"Lily," she called after me but I was already gone.

In the space of an hour my whole world had collapsed around me. I had to get out of La Push or I was never going to survive. Everything was in pieces.

_Thoughts? So I can either go back in time and tell the events leading up to this point or I can continue from here and see if you can work out what happened. You decide. Thanks. _


	2. Reminders

_Thank you so much to the response for the first chapter. It inspired me. Here I am with another chapter. Enjoy. _

"Lily. Get the hell out of bed."

I flinched away from the insistent voice that banged off the sides of my head as I snuggled further down beneath the covers. Hell would probably have been more pleasant than what I was feeling in that moment.

"What happened last night?" My voice sounded raspy as if I was getting over an illness - a self inflicted illness of course. Alcohol was the devil. I felt the bed slouch beneath me as someone sat down beside me. Vomit rose in my throat but I forcefully swallowed it back down. I felt disgusting.

"Tequila and then some more tequila," a small almost musical laugh sounded beside me, "You were really going for it. Dancing on the bar and everything."

Vaguely I could remember running bare foot along the beach and then falling flat on my face before I had limped home. Carefully I moved my ankle trying not to wince. I had probably sprained it or something equally as stupid, it wouldn't have been the first time. My inability to stay sober was highly amusing. The alcohol helped to numb the ever present pain that held me in it's grasp.

"Why didn't you stop me?" I groaned as I peaked out from beneath the covers. Alex frowned as she drunk in the sight of my bed head and smeared make up. It annoyed me how fresh faced she looked, even though she had stumbled home with me at five in the morning. Her blonde hair was piled effortlessly on top of her head and the white bikini top and shorts she wore contrasted greatly with her tanned skin. As always jealousy consumed me and I wondered why she bothered to stick around.

"Believe me, I tried. You are quite the stubborn little bitch when you've had a few drinks. Besides you looked like you were having fun. You don't have nearly enough of that." Her face grew serious as she glanced around at the scrunched up pieces of paper littering my bedroom floor. I knew I hadn't been the most pleasant person to live with in the world. My head thumped and I desperately craved Chinese food, I wondered briefly if Alex would want to order in. My life was a mess.

"I don't have time for fun," I mumbled, "I have a deadline, remember?"

"God. Of course I remember, all you do is go on about that stupid deadline. Wasn't last night supposed to inspire you?" Alex muttered as she leant back against the headboard stretching her long legs out in front of her. She scrunched up her nose as if she couldn't stand the stench of me. I didn't blame her.

"It probably would have," I spoke quietly as I scratched at the back of my neck, "but the problem is that I cant really remember any of it."

"Not even stripping in the middle of the street or singing at the top of your lungs?" she grinned as I lunged feebly at her. One day, I was going to get her back for all the cruel jokes she had ever played on me but I wouldn't have it any other way. She was the single most important thing that had happened to me since I had moved to Los Angeles and my Father had ordered me to 'get out of the damn house and do something other than stare at the television all day.' Alex had been my saviour.

"Now I know you're lying," I barked out a dry laugh in answer to Alex, "I do not sing, ever. And I'm still wearing my dress. This is why I am the writer. I get paid to make up stories and you don't. Use your imagination next time"

"While I get paid to dress up in fancy clothes and lounge around on yachts all day," she produced a fake yawn and slid under the covers beside me. I yelped as her cold foot touched mine. She truly was evil.

"Sounds like hell to me," I told her yet again while she rolled her eyes. The thought of modelling bored me to tears, literally. I had spent hours upon hours watching as Alex struck poses and wore painfully tall high heels. She definitely had a higher pain threshold than I did.

"Well I'm off today," she squeaked in excitement, causing me to press my hands against my ears, "And we're in LA. The land of sun, sea and sand. We are going to find you some inspiration without alcohol interference."

"I'd much rather we opened a bottle of wine and watched films instead," I offered, not feeling like getting out of my bed, never mind actually showering and putting on clothes. It was much easier to avoid life from inside our apartment.

"I'm worried that you are turning into an alcoholic," Alex rolled her eyes to let me know that she was joking but I would often see her watching me from across the room at a party when she thought I wasn't looking. She worried too damn much. I needed a friend, not a mother. My own mother pestered me enough with phone calls. I had taken to ignoring them, like I did with most people.

"I wish," I muttered, "Sometimes I think that would be easier, at least then I would be happy all the time."

"And extremely clumsy," Alex added, "Now get up. I'll buy you an ice cream."

The thought made my stomach lurch. I let out a cry of pain and shielded my eyes as she opened the curtains in one swift action allowing the bright, aching hot sun to stream in through the window. She smirked at me as she handed me some envelopes.

"Your mail came," she told me as she skipped towards the door, "I'm going to make pancakes. You better be ready to leave in twenty minutes or your life will not be worth living."

I knew she wasn't joking. I remembered the time she had poured water over me when I had fallen asleep or the time she had hidden the coffee machine so I couldn't have my hourly fix. She knew all of my weak points and I knew there was no point in fighting her. Sighing, I shuffled upwards into a sitting position trying to ignore my pounding head. The mail glared at me, most of it was addressed to my pen name, the person who I had slowly become over the years as I had distanced myself from the past.

_P. Wolfe._

Every time I looked at the stupid name it made my heart suddenly heavy as if it was made of lead. Time and time again I had thought about changing it but as my fan base had grown I realised it really wasn't an option any longer. His presence still lingered behind every decision I made even four years on. I would often feel his warm breath on the back of my neck pushing me to do the impossible.

The name choice had been spontaneous. My Agent - Anna - had a massive picture of a two wolfs fighting to the death on the wall behind her desk. It reminded me of the time when Paul had spontaneously phased to protect my honour. I scoffed. My damn honour. If only I had known then that he would be the one to strip me of any honour I still had and leave me watching after him as he ran into the sunlight. The picture had been one of the many reasons that I had chosen Anna to be my agent.

And of course, at the time, I had bowed down to her 'I hate men' attitude to life. It had been refreshing after being suffocated by the unconditional love that I had left behind in La Push. The women there were all just so dependent on their men. After Paul, I decided that I would never be like them. Ever. I was an independent woman.

I pushed the fan mail underneath the bed with the rest of the letter. As always I left them there so I knew where to find them during my next sobbing session. They never failed to cheer me up. Knowing that I inspired people, knowing that I gave them hope was the single greatest feeling in the world. When I became a forgotten, crazy writer I would always have them to look back on and know I had done something right in my life. However small.

I frowned as I flipped through the countless bills. It had been Alex's idea to move to a bigger place. I had been perfectly content in the one bedroom loft conversion we had lived in beforehand. It had character and had a lived in feeling. Alex had scoffed at my excuses as she pointed out the numerous unnameable stains on the walls and the broken lock on our front door. She had insisted that it was only a matter of time before someone broke in and stabbed us in our sleep. She had always been a tad dramatic.

The last letter was different. My breath caught as I looked at the handwriting on the front and the use of my real name, the name I avoided at all costs. Gingerly my finger traced the familiar scribbled writing, the loopy 'L' that was so similar to my own. I felt the earlier vomit rise in my throat again.

"Lils. Do you want mayple syrup or chocolate sauce or-" Alex paused in the centre of the room, her voice drifting off into nothing. She had flour smeared underneath her right eye and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"What's wrong?" she demanded as she glanced the letter in my hand. My stomach seemed to tighten as I glanced at the familiar handwriting again.

"It's from my sister," I muttered, the letter felt weightless in my hands. I tried to remember the last time we had spoken to each other. Before Paul, we had been inseparable. I had sat beside her bedside for hours after the accident. We had laughed together and cried together. We were the very best of friends.

When I left I couldn't bear to hear her voice. My resolve would have crumbled if I had heard the betrayal in it, the accusations. Instead I had emailed her, careful to ignore anything she wrote about Paul. As the years went on our contact became less frequent, her emails more distant as if she no longer had any time for me.

"The bitch who stole your boyfriend?" Alex snarled as she ripped the letter form my hand. I was surprised the letter didn't burst into flames beneath her poisonous glare.

"Don't call her a bitch," I murmured weakly, "And besides he wasn't my boyfriend. He was just a f-friend." My voice faltered on the final word, knowing we had been much more than that before fate had come along and fucked everything up. Standing up I grabbed the letter back as I limped towards the window.

Below me the city thrived. My throat constricted as I watched a couple walk hand in hand down the street. I wondered how long their relationship would last. In Los Angeles I would bet around two months maximum unless they were truly kidding themselves by believing that they were in love. I had learned that love was false. It was nothing more than an invention created to make a person feel secure, to feel wanted. Love was a fantasy for mere people like me.

"You liked him," Alex stated breaking into my thoughts, "That's enough reason to call her a bitch. You were sisters. Isn't there like some unwritten rule that your sister does not go after the boy you like?"

"It's complicated," I spoke fiercely as I curled my hands into fists. My nails dug into the palm of my hand. The pain was a welcome feeling, it was something I had become accustomed to over the years. Alex's glare wavered as she stood beside me. I hated the pity that shone in her eyes. She knew I hated that.

"Open it," she whispered. Her voice sounded eerie in the empty apartment. I had always complained that the apartment was too big for just the two of us. It was a pointless waste of space that someone else could be using.

Taking a deep breath I slipped my finger under the seal before tearing it open. The delicate paper was an immediate give away. My sister's writing seemed to glare at me as my eyes drunk in every single word. The room seemed to spin around me. It was ridiculous, I knew the day would come eventually.

"They're getting married," I spoke in a monotone, careful to keep my voice steady. Flopping down onto the bed I closed my eyes in a desperate attempt to block out the rest of the world. Everything was so damn complicated.

"Shit," Alex hissed as she grabbed my hand in hers. I squeezed it tightly. Too tightly.

"In three weeks," I continued with my eyes still shut, "S-she wants me to be a fucking bridesmaid. And she's invited my plus one. I don't have a plus one, Alex." My voice became frantic as I crumpled the invitation into a ball in my fisted hand.

"Well you know what we have to do, don't you?"

I didn't like Alex's tone of voice. That tone had got me into a countless amounts of trouble. One night I had even ended up in a jail cell. It had been the second worst night of my life. I winced as I heard her get up and start to raid through my wardrobe.

"What?" I asked, fearing the worst.

"It's simple," I could hear the shrug in her voice as she spoke, "We're going to go. I'll be your plus one. Best friends count right?" She didn't wait for my answer, " You are going to smile and play bridesmaid. You're also going to show that asshole what he is missing. Then we are going to come home and get on with the rest of our lives, preferably with two gorgeous men on our arms."

There was no chance in hell that I would voluntarily go back to La Push, ever. I wanted to laugh in her face.

Instead, the only answer she got was the screech of the fire alarm. She had burnt the pancakes.

_Thoughts? _


	3. Reunions

_Sorry it has been a while. Work and school has just taken over my life at the moment. As always, thank you all for the reviews. Enjoy. _

Alex's large sunglasses covered most of her face. However, I didn't miss the familiar way she scrunched up her face as I pulled into the tiny parking lot. My palms were a sweaty mess and everywhere I looked reminded me of times that I had desperately tried to forget about. I wanted nothing more than to turn around and hide in my bed for the rest of my life. Forks was my own personal hell.

"It's so green," Alex's voice was groggy as she peeked over the rim of her sunglasses. The rain left disjointed patterns on the window and the wet smell in the air reminded me so much of Paul that I wanted to sob for hours. I was fed up of being weak.

"And cold," I sniffed as I wrapped my arms tightly around my stomach, "And boring. And full of nosey people. Can't we just leave?"

"I did not spend seven hours in a car with your whiny ass just to turn around again. We are here to make a point. Aren't you supposed to be a fearless writer?" I tried not to laugh as she slouched further down in the passenger seat. Her hair was a mess of tangled knots and her nails were chipped.

"Aren't you supposed to be the beautiful model?" I scoffed. I didn't have time to duck as she flung one of my manuscripts at me from the floor. Closing my eyes I tried to settle my breathing as I turned off the ignition.

"What's the plan of action?" Alex sounded determined as her eyes followed two boys on skateboards making a dash for the supermarket. There were two girls opposite us sitting in their truck. My new mini cooper was at the receiving end of their glares. I patted the steering wheel reassuringly. It was my baby; the first thing I had bought when my first book made the New York Times bestseller list. Washington was going to kill it though, just like it had killed me.

"The plan is to get food," my stomach rumbled to reiterate my point, "And then we find a cheap motel that we can stay in around Forks and-"

"Isn't the wedding in La Push? Isn't that where you grew up?" Alex turned to face me as she pushed her sunglasses onto the top of head.

"Yes, but I feel more comfortable here. I'd rather not run into everyone that I used to know within a hour. Besides I don't think La Push will have anywhere for us to stay anyway." I didn't mention Emily and Sam. Or the fact that Paul had his own house when I had known him. I was planning on finding a motel room and pigging out on junk food until the day of the wedding when I could make a brief appearance before running away again. Running was what I did best after all.

"Well, get me something incredibly fatty that I shouldn't eat," Alex curled back into a ball as she pushed her sunglasses back down to cover her eyes. My grip on the steering wheel tightened as I glanced at her in disbelief.

"Aren't you coming in with me?" I knew I sounded like a whiny five year old but the thought of walking into the supermarket seemed to grip me with terror. It was the same supermarket that my Mum had went into labour in. It was the supermarket that Lisa and I would walk around for hours as we watched in fascination at all the different things people would buy. It was the supermarket that Paul had first bumped into me in an angry haze as I had tried desperately not to fall over from exhaustion.

My heart squeezed painfully tight in my chest.

"Don't be a baby," Alex murmured drowsily. Squeezing my eyes tightly shut I tried to regulate my breathing as I pried my hands away from the steering wheel. It was only a supermarket. A lousy supermarket. If I couldn't even shop, I had no hope for the rest of my visit. Opening the car door I clambered out of the car before I could change my mind. Beads of sweat were beginning to appear on my forehead.

I hoped desperately that I would make it in and out without meeting anyone I knew. As I caught a glimpse of myself in a window, I wondered if anyone would even recognise me if they did walk by me. I wasn't the same small, curvy, big hearted girl that had laughed all the time. I was bitter, skinny and fake. I lived in the fantasy worlds of my books and tended to stay away from real life until Alex forced me to leave the apartment.

"I can do this," I muttered as I walked through the sliding doors. It was disconcerting how homely the place still felt to me and how I could still remember which aisles all of my favourite foods were in. Taking another step forwards I let out a gasp of pain as someone rammed a trolley into the back of my legs.

"Oh My God. I am so sorry," I hadn't realised I had fallen forward until I felt a warm hand on my arm. It was only then that I also realised that I still donned my denim shorts and blouse that I wore practically everyday in Los Angeles. I wondered if the supermarket sold sweaters, I had a feeling I was going to need them.

"It's alright," I groaned as I pulled myself up. Pushing the hair from my eyes I turned around to say thank you. The words got caught in my throat as I set eyes on my saviour. A familiar saviour.

My first thought was that she looked tired. Her brown hair was piled up onto the top of her head as if she had been in a rush to get ready and the dark circles under her eyes were visible. But then my eyes strayed down to the baby she held comfortably in one of her arms. It looked so like her with it's wide eyes and tiny smile that I wanted to snuggle her for hours. She looked so at home with the baby in her arms. Jealousy consumed me.

"Lils?" Kim gasped, interrupting my observations. Apparently, I hadn't changed that much. My throat constricted as my eyes swung to the door. Maybe I could make a quick getaway and I could drive back to Los Angeles by morning. It had been a mistake ever coming back.

"Nope. You have the wrong person," I mumbled as I tried to push past her. Seeing her brought up memories that I had kept buried for years. I could still remember the sound of Kim's scream as she jumped off the cliff hand in hand with Jared. I could still mimic the way she rolled her eyes when Paul and I argued over the last hotdog. We had been two sides of the same coin, the only person who had ever come close to my sister like bond with Lisa, before Alex came into my life.

"Lily!" she exclaimed, ignoring my voice completely. I held my breath as she pulled me into a one armed hug. She smelled like La Push, the scent that I had scrubbed off of my skin for years. The baby in her arms gurgled happily as she flapped her tiny arms in the air. My heart seemed to stretch even further. I was surprised Kim was even talking to me, never mind hugging me. The last time I had seen her I had called her pathetic and ran away from our friendship.

"I'm not-" I tried once again to deny who I was but Kim took a step backwards and silenced me with a single glare. I had seen that glare work on Jared, and even Sam. I had no chance of fighting her.

"Don't even try and deny it. You're different but you're definitely Lily. You're wearing converse, you have a tiny notebook sticking out of your back pocket and besides, I would know that awkward look on your face anywhere."

"I-" I wrung my hands together in desperation. Kim and her damn observations. She would fit right in at the damn, stuffy writers conference that my agent made me attend every few months. We would have had great fun laughing at their superior attitudes. I didn't want to admit it but I had missed her terribly.

"Are you here for the wedding?" The grin fell off of her face as she spoke. Silence consumed us. She had been the one to hold me while I cried over the Paul. She had been the one who had warned me off him. However, she was also the one who encouraged me to fight for what I wanted, and smiled as I pecked him on the cheek. We had too much history between us.

"No," I forced out the lie, "I was just passing by. I'm on a road trip."

"You could never lie very well, unlike your sister," I didn't miss the bitter edge to her voice, "She asked you to be a bridesmaid, didn't she? She asked me too, but I refused and-"

"You refused?" I couldn't help the word vomit from bursting out. Kim rocked the baby in her arms as she spoke. She was so beautiful, I wondered when she had been born. I had probably missed Kim and Jared's wedding. I wondered what else I had missed in my absence. I wondered if anyone had even missed me.

"I didn't refuse. I-" she scratched her head as if searching for the right word, "I declined. It didn't feel right. We're friends but I just felt like I would be betraying you some how…"

"You don't even know me," I tried to make my voice as emotionless as possible. She surprised me by not flinching away from my tone. She was different from what I remembered; stronger somehow. I didn't want her to know that mention of Paul's name still caused a stabbing sensation in my chest, that the thought of my sister buying her wedding dress made me want to sob and scream in the same second. It was as if all the emotions I had been keeping bottled up for years were suddenly desperate to break free.

"Maybe," Kim shrugged, "but I do know that you love your sister more than anything else in the world. And I knew you would turn up to the wedding, even if you were hiding behind a tree during the ceremony."

I stood limply in the middle of the supermarket. I had no sarcastic comeback because what she had said was completely true. I did love my sister more than anything else, even after not setting eyes on her for four years. Standing there, I realised that I would no longer be able to avoid Paul and La Push after the wedding. I couldn't go another four years without seeing her again, it was torturous.

"Lily. What the hell is taking you so long?" Alex sounded impatient. I watched silently as Kim drunk in the sight of Alex's high heels and blonde highlights as she strode towards us. She towered over us both and the dramatic red lipstick that she had obviously applied in the car looked out of the place in the small town, and I loved her for it. When I had first met Alex, it had been refreshing to meet someone who just didn't give a damn about what other people thought. She knew what she had and she made it work for herself. I watched as her eyes narrowed and she evaluated Kim.

"Who are you?" she murmured, immediately on the defensive. I put my hand on her arm to calm her down. She knew how terrified I was to be back home and I think a little bit of that terror was rubbing off on her.

"I'm Kim," I watched as she hugged the baby close to her chest and stuck her hand out towards Alex, "I-I'm," she glanced at me uncertainly, "I'm an old friend of Lily's."

"I'm Alex," she cautiously shook Kim's hand as if she might break it, "Lily's plus one and _best_ friend." I rolled my eyes when she emphasised 'best.'

"Well, it's nice to meet you," Kim muttered sarcastically, "Now I better finish my shopping and then we can all go back to mine."

"What?" I snapped. Back to hers. As in La Push. As in a house where a wolf could walk in at any moment. My throat constricted painfully tight and I tried to remember how to breath again.

"There is no way I am going to let you stay in a motel when you can stay at mine for free," Kim shrugged as she began to push her trolley again, "And anyway, you're family."

There was absolutely no fucking way. The word 'family' bounced off the inside of my head. I wasn't family. My sister was. I didn't belong in their perfect world.

I was an outsider.

_Thoughts?_


	4. Reality

_Hi there. As always, thank you for all of the reviews. I hope you enjoy this latest chapter…_

Kim and Jared had a house. A _house_.

My hands gripped the steering wheel as we drew up behind Kim's sturdy truck. For some bizarre reason I had expected to end up at her childhood home, the one I had stayed at on many occasions. Clearly in my mind I could still picture the faded blue colour of her bedroom walls and the cracked mirror that hung beside her wardrobe. I could see the photo frame filled with a photo of Jared and her on her bedside table. The burnt smell of her mother's cooking was fresh in memory. If I tried hard enough I could even remember the sound of our laughter bouncing off of the halls. I missed it all. I had missed her.

"Quaint. Isn't it?"

Alex tossed her sunglasses in the back seat as she peered critically at the house in front of us. To her it probably seemed rundown and in need of a paint job. To me, however, it seemed like a magical little diamond in the rough. The paint had obviously faded in the sunlight and the crooked sign above the door seemed so Kim like. A porch seemed to wrap around the entire house and I could almost imagine the entire pack lounging around drinking beers. All that was missing was the white, picket fence. It was everything Kim had ever dreamed of and more.

Gnawing on my bottom lip I tried to push down the jealousy that had unexpectedly reared it's ugly head. La Push was my past, I had to remember that. Kim was my past. She was just doing a favour for an old friend. I let out a high pitched shriek as she rapped gently on my car window. Her beautiful baby lay asleep in her other arm.

"Come on," she stage whispered, "I have home made lemonade inside."

I tried desperately to contain my laughter as she turned on her heel and stumbled up the porch steps. She was so domesticated. In some ways Kim didn't seem to have changed at all but I could already tell that she was almost a different person from the teenager I had known. She had curves that had never existed before and I saw a new determination in her eyes that had been dormant when I had known her. She seemed stronger somehow, more fierce.

"I think I'm going to like Kim," Alex mused as she reached for the door handle. Panic seized me as I reached out to stop her from exiting the car. Seth or Emily or Colin or even Paul could be just around the corner. Bumping into Kim had been enough to set my heart racing, I wasn't sure if I could handle much else.

"I-I'm not sure I can do this," I hissed tightening my grip on her arm, "Can't we just go home?" Alex raised her eyebrows at me while Kim paused in the doorway to look back at us, I could see the frown painted upon her face. Expectations seemed to weigh me down from every corner. All I wanted was to shut myself in an imaginary world for a day or two so I could get my head straight. That was all.

"You know as well as I do that LA has never been home to you," Alex smiled slightly as she easily untangled herself from my grip, "You need to face up to your fears at some point if you want any chance of a happy future. Besides, I know you're dying to see your sister."

Breathing heavily I watched in astonishment as she jumped out of the car before I had time to protest. She grabbed some of the shopping bags from Kim's truck before making her way into the house as if she belonged. My palms were slippery with sweat as I glared accusingly at the invitation lying on the dashboard, Alex had pieced it back together with tape after she had told me to tear it up into a thousand tiny pieces. I smirked at the memory. If only I had never opened the damn thing.

I don't know how long I sat in the car before I finally decided to move. It might have been five minutes. It could have been twenty minutes. At some point I managed to regulate my breathing enough to remove my hands from the steering wheel. Every two seconds the curtains at the front of the house was twitch and I would see Alex's accusing stare. She was challenging me.

My footstep sounded too loud as I walked through the front door. I felt like it was becoming too late to turn back. Alex sat in the lounge glancing casually at her nails.

"Kim is just putting Kiera to bed for a nap," she spoke quietly as if telling me some great secret. I fell into the seat beside her as she pulled me into her side. At times she may have tested me and pushed me beyond my boundaries but she was always there for me when I needed her.

"She has a baby," I murmured as I glanced at all of the photos lining the walls and the pile of textbooks piled up in the corner, "And a house. And a family. I expected things to have changed. I just-"

"Hey. _Hey_," she took on a disapproving tone as she tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear, "You have an amazing apartment in a place where the sun always shines. You have me which is the equivalent of a family," I laughed, "You're even a world famous author and have a mini cooper. A thousand girls would kill to have your life."

"You're right," I sniffed as I hastily wiped at my eyes. I was being an over emotional wreck. Having Alex beside me made me feel a thousand times better in an instant.

"I'm always right," she flicked her hair dramatically over her shoulder as she stood up, "And these small town folks do have more taste than I thought." I followed her line of sight to a small painting hanging on one of the walls. It looked as if an artist had spilled tubs of paint continuously on his canvas but somehow it seemed to work. The colours seemed so vibrant and alive just like Kim's personality.

"I bought it at a street market in Paris." I turned to see Kim standing in the doorway with her arms crossed. Her feet were bare and the several bangles on her arms jingled as she walked further into the room. I was envious of how at ease she seemed in her own body. Although, I guess that was the outcome when you were showered with compliments from the love of your life. I was a little bitter.

"You went to Paris?" I couldn't stop the question spilling from my mouth. Once upon time we had dreamed about going travelling together and trying new things. Kim smiled as she glanced at the painting Alex had been looking at.

"Jared and I went a trip around Europe a couple of years ago. He had to come back for some pack business but I stayed in Paris for a couple of extra weeks." Her casual tone shocked me more than it should have. Kim had always been an independent thinker but when he was with Jared she would rather have agreed with him than cause any upset. Somehow I had a feeling that she was not afraid to argue any longer.

"He left you alone in Paris?" I gasped.

"It was either that or he would have had an empty house and a very pissed off wife," she placed her hands on her hips as she turned her attention back to me, "But the real question is where the hell have you been? I have missed you."

"I moved to live with my Dad in Los Angeles," I shrugged as if it was no big deal, "I needed a change of scenery."

"No," she shook her head as she sat down beside me, "You ran away. I must admit the sun has done wonders for your skin but you made me so angry. You were supposed to be my Maid of Honour at my wedding. You were supposed to be Keira's Godmother-"

"She was like a zombie for months," Alex cut in, "It took me almost a year to see her smile, never mind talk about her past."

"Alex," I hissed as I turned to glare at her. She simply shrugged.

"You hurt a lot of people when you left," Kim told me, "but I'm pretty sure I would have done exactly the same in your position. It doesn't matter now though, everyone will be so happy to see you."

I gulped. I wasn't so sure about that.

"Are you sure Jared will be alright with us staying here?" My leg bounced up and down with nerves as my eyes flickered towards the front door. Rain started to fall outside and Alex moved to the window to watch the raindrops with a smile.

"He has always felt terrible about the way he spoke to you that day," I winced as I remembered the screaming match that had taken place on the street, "and for the record, so am I. I should have come after you."

"I called you pathetic," I reminded her, "I expected you to punch me in the supermarket, not hug me." Kim's easy laughter shocked me yet again and my body went suddenly rigid as she sat down beside me.

"I needed to hear that," she shrugged like it was no big deal, "You were right, I was pathetic. I needed to grow up."

"Well, you've certainly grown up," I noted. My eyes glanced around the room once again. Everything from the ornaments to the rugs belonged to her. I thought of my laptop lying in the back of my car and the feeble pile of clothes I had collected during my time in Los Angeles. Our apartment was filled with Alex's junk but I tried to think of one picture or pillow that I had ever bought and drew up blank. No wonder I had too much money lying unused. I had no life.

"So have you," Kim insisted, "Although I see you still can't go anywhere without your converse and-"

"Kim. Are you home?" a voice interrupted us. My mouth went suddenly dry as the front door slammed shut. I would have known that voice anywhere. Alex was beside me in an instant as I looked at Kim in desperation.

"I-I'm sorry," Kim looked flustered as she turned to look at me, "I forgot we had arranged to have dinner tonight."

My whole body shook as a familiar face rounded the corner. She looked thinner than I remembered. As always it was like looking in a mirror. Her hair was shorter than mine though as if she had recently cut it and the casual dress she wore seemed to flatter her in a way that I would never have been able to pay off.

"Lily," she dropped the bags she had been holding as she stared at me. My head began to pound and I prayed that she was alone.

"Holy shit," Alex muttered from beside me, "You never told me that you were twins."

_Thoughts? _


	5. Revelations

_Hi there. As always, thank you for the reviews. Sorry this update has taken so long. Enjoy…_

There had been a time when Lisa and I would dress up in matching clothes and confuse people until they couldn't tell us apart. Even in high school I had sat an English test for her while she had drawn me a self portrait for my art coursework. We thrived on our similarities and cancelled out each others faults. Bring a twin was so much more than being a sister, it was like we were part of each other. My Mum had been the only one who could see through our lies, until Paul had come along.

However, as I stood rigidly in Kim's lounge I couldn't help but catalogue the differences that had become apparent throughout the years, rather than the similarities. La Push had been kind to her. Her body seemed to have a more toned athletic look than when I had last seen her. She had natural streaks in her hair from the sun that I could see Alex glaring at with envy beside me. Although, I could also see the new distrust in her eyes and the jagged edges of her bitten nails. Despite our closeness, we had destroyed each other. I had become weak where as she seemed to have built a wall around herself to keep the likes of me out.

"What are you doing here?" her voice was hollow as if doubting my presence in front of her. Alex put a reassuring hand on my arm and I watched as Lisa's eyes instantly flickered to it. She then continued to drink in Alex's red lipstick and high heels with a sneer. She had never been judgemental when I had known her. I wondered if that was my fault too.

"The wedding-" Alex began in answer to her question, seemingly knowing that my mouth was too dry to speak. Across the room Kim looked like a deer caught in headlights and I watched as she twisted her numerous bracelets around her wrist.

"I didn't ask you," Lisa snapped, "I don't even know who you are." Alex narrowed her eyes and tightened her grip on my arm. I could feel the frost building between them. My body was numb. I still couldn't find my voice.

"Lisa. They just arrived and-" Kim's voice was gentle. It was the voice I had heard her use when talking to Kiera earlier in the supermarket; as if she felt the need to constantly reassure my sister. That had been my job once. She had always been fragile despite her tough exterior. She had gotten good at hiding that side of her though, especially when she had a large wolfy family to look out for her. Internally, I winced.

"I didn't ask you either," Lisa's voice was colder than I had ever heard it, "But just out of interest, were you ever going to phone me and tell me that my lost sister was here? Or were you just going to add it to your list of secrets?"

"Don't you dare talk to me like that in my house. I know you're upset-"

"Upset? _Upset_? I'm furious. My sister, my _twin_ saunters into town and comes round to Saint Kim's house for a catch up rather than finding me. I'm also trying to get over the shock that she's actually here since she never felt the need to turn up for anything else or answer my emails properly."

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I took a step towards her. I tried not to let my hurt show as she automatically took a step backwards. Did she even care that I was hurting just as much as she was? Maybe it had just been easier throughout the years for her blame her problems on me rather than her own life choices.

"Sorry?" she spat, "You're sorry? You have been gone for four years and that's all you have to say for yourself? It's going to take a lot more than an apology to make me forgive you. A damn lot more."

"I am really am sorry though," I tried to make my voice stronger, louder, "I just had to leave. I felt so isolated and bitter. I didn't want to burden you with that."

"I wasn't even going to invite you to the wedding," her voice had lost some of its volume but I could still see the fire burning in her eyes, "If it hadn't been for Mum and Kim convincing me, you wouldn't even be here today."

"I was going to come back." I could see Alex opening her mouth to say something but I kicked her on the leg, hard. I had no idea that Lisa would be so furious with me, so heartbroken. I had hurt her. I had hurt everyone. It had been selfish of me to run.

"When? When my casket was getting lowered into the ground? Maybe then you could have gotten off with Paul and stole my husband. You bitch, you-"

"Shut the hell up," Alex's voice was quiet but it seemed to slice through the air like a knife, "Don't you dare speak to her like that." I had never loved Alex more than in that moment. Perhaps I did make good choices every once in a while, Alex had definitely been one of them. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kim raise her eyebrows up in surprise, and maybe even respect.

"It took me almost two years after you left to figure out that you had been seeing Paul behind my back. I finally realised that you had run away out of guilt-"

"She was friends with Paul before you," I looked at Kim in shock as she spoke, she seemed to be taking a leaf out of Alex's book "Nothing more, and as soon as she found out that Paul had imprinted on you, she broke things off with him."

"So why did he disappear for a month after she left?" I winced at the crack in Lisa's voice and the glassy look to her eyes. She truly did love him. I would just have to get over any feelings that I still had for him. It had been four years.

"You know that he had an Aunt who was unwell," Kim lied flawlessly and I tried not to look at her in shock. I knew the only family Paul had left was his Mum. God. I had missed his Mum too. We had such laughs winding Paul up. Vividly I remembered the confusion on her face when she had turned up at one bonfire to find Paul with his arm around Lisa, rather than me. That had been hell.

"He imprinted on you Lisa," I forced the words out and tried not to turn and meet Alex's bewildered gaze, "Not me. He loves you, not me. I'm just here to be a bridesmaid and watch my little sister get married. That is all. "

"I don't even know you anymore, how am I supposed to trust you?" She sounded like a scared little girl who had just been told Santa Claus wasn't real. I ached to grab her in a hug and reassure her. I knew in that moment that I would smother any feelings I had for Paul in order to grow closer to her again. Our sisterhood was more important than anything else.

"I'm still the same me," I muttered, desperate for to believe me.

"Sure," her laugh sounded fake as she flopped down onto one of the armchairs, "With your LA haircut and bitchy best friend. The Lily I knew would have split ends and mud smeared under her eye, not a blackberry poking out of her pocket and be stupid enough to drive to La Push in a fucking mini cooper."

"I haven't changed inside," I cursed inwardly as my voice cracked, "I still have the same hopes and wishes that we talked about. I think about you all the damn time. And are you trying to tell me you haven't changed with that shiny rock on your finger and shorter hair? Don't be a hypocrite Li."

"It's a little soon for nicknames, don't you think?" Alex's nails were practically digging into my arm as Lisa spoke. I knew it was taking all of her energy not to pounce on her and rip out her hair.

"I just want everything to go back to the way it was before everything." It was a stupid wish. We could never go back to the way we had once been. However, maybe we could go back to being proper sisters, proper twins. That was all I wanted.

"Before what? Before I got ill? Before you met Paul? I happen to like my life right now, I'm just not sure if I'm going to like it with you back in it," I winced, "I-I just need time to think."

I wanted nothing more than to sink to the ground and curl myself up into a ball. My fingers itched to grab my laptop and type for hours in an attempt to escape from reality, even just for an hour. I jumped as Kim placed a steady hand on my shoulder.

"How about I grab Kiera and we can go visit Em?" she reached out to Lisa in a way I had seen her reach out to countless people in the past. Many things had changed but as always Kim seemed to be putting others needs before her own.

"I'll wait in the truck." I didn't even have time to say goodbye before Lisa stepped over the shopping she had dropped and raced down the hall. The front door shut with a resounding bang.

"Are you sure you're related to that girl? She is the biggest bitch I have ever met and-" I put up my hand in an attempt to stop Alex mid rant. All my energy seemed to have left my body. Kim looked down at me with pity.

"I really am sorry," she murmured while Alex let out a sound of frustration beside me, "We'll be back in a couple of hours. I'll phone Jared and let him know you are staying, which you are. You better be here when I get home."

When Kim and Kiera eventually left I sank to the floor. My whole being ached to grab my stuff and run as far away as possible but that didn't seem like an option any longer. I had demons to face and people to reconnect with.

"I really need a drink," Alex whined from beside me. It was only then I realised how tired she looked. I laughed as she reached for the bottle of wine that had fallen from Lisa's shopping bag.

"To being a bitch and running from our problems," she toasted before raising the bottle to her lips. I don't know how I would have survived without Alex.

_Thoughts? _


	6. Rambles

_HEEEY. As always, thank you so much for your reviews. Here we go with another chapter…_

"Wait," Alex slurred as she stumbled towards me, "Are you seriously trying to tell me that the guy or wolf or whatever knows that he will spend the rest of his life with a girl just by looking into their eyes? He instantly falls in love with her?"

"Yup," I hiccupped, "Only La Push wolfs though as far as I know."

Alex stood in the middle of Kim's lounge. She titled her head to the side as if deep in thought and I watched the way she held her wine glass loosely between two fingers. I wondered if Kim would be furious enough to chuck us out of her house if Alex spilt red wine on her carpet. One could only hope.

"That," she seemed to be searching for words, "is extremely fucked up."

"Yup," I nodded my head again like a puppet. Alex sank to the floor as if trying to process everything I had just told her. I reached for our fourth bottle of wine that we had found in Kim's cupboard as I remembered when Paul had told me about imprinting. It had been simple really, I guess deep down I had known that he was hiding more than just his wolfy secret.

It had been during one of the many back bonfires that I had attended. They were all the same - filled with laughter, way too much food and of course the occasional fist fight. Bonfires were the one thing I would often find myself thinking about as I sat alone on the beach in LA. I had loved them. However, there had been something different about that bonfire. It was the first time I ever met Leah Clearwater. Throughout the night I watched the way she furiously ripped apart countless burgers and shot glares in Sam's direction whenever he placed a tender kiss on Emily's head. The atmosphere had been tenser than I could ever remember.

At home that night, I asked Paul what the history between the three of them while brushing my teeth. He had walked over to me from his position on my bed and wiped toothpaste from the corner of my mouth before casually telling me the story of imprinting. In that moment I realised that Paul could be torn from me at any day, that in the future I would have to watch him walk around with some stranger on his arm. It was the first night I cried myself to sleep over Paul Atera. The first of many.

While living in LA I often asked myself why I didn't distance myself from him after that conversation. I often wondered why I let myself fall in love with him and why I let him kiss me in the rain when I knew it would all end in my heartache, not his. However, I don't think I realised the true impact of imprinting until I took him to the hospital that one fateful day to meet my sister. It had been the worst and best decision of my life. It ended things before they went to far but it also deprived me of the journey I was supposed to have with Paul; the laughs, the kisses.

He had been mine. _Mine. _

"So," Alex interrupted my thoughts, "When Paul saw Lisa he just abandoned you? I'm hating this Paul guy more and more by the second. Although, he does have to put up with Lisa for life which is punishment enough for anyone."

"She's my sister," I reminded her through gritted teeth. Standing up, I swayed unsteadily before walking towards the window. The rain was bouncing repeatedly off the ground and I winced as I looked out at my poor mini cooper.

"And? I know you secretly want to pull her hair out. I wont judge you for that." She laughed as wine sloshed over the rim of her glass and onto her white top.

"None of this is her fault. And no, Paul didn't just abandon me which was what made the whole thing so much worse." I closed my eyes remembering the feeling of his lips on mine, the shivers that ran down my spine when he held me tightly.

"What do you mean?" Alex was watching me the way she usually watched her favourite drama programs; rapt with attention and wide eyed.

"We were still friends," I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat, "I would still catch him watching me sometimes from across the bonfire which was strange," I lowered my voice to a whisper, "because he's not supposed to see anyone else but his imprint. She is supposed to be his world."

"Then why-" she began.

"I don't know," I whined before downing the rest of my wine, "All I know is that it was tearing us all apart. I cried every day. Lisa cried more than me. And Paul…Paul just got angry. I felt like I didn't even know him anymore."

"I wish I could have known you then," all of her words were rolling into one, "I would have knocked him out ninja style. I would have."

"It was all just a mess," I continued, ignoring Alex's drunken rambles, "A big mess. And then he told her about imprinting and wolfs. The idiot. Couldn't he already see how fragile she was?"

Everything was silent for a moment. I had grown used to the continuous noise of traffic and shouting outside of our LA apartment. The noise hid my insecurities but in La Push my emotions seemed to be spilling out of me.

"I want cakes. Can we make cakes?"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at Alex's random outburst. Pulling Alex to her feet we both felt our way to the kitchen. The cabinets were painted a sunny yellow colour that seemed to match Kim's bubbly personality. A worn high chair sat in the centre of the room. Briefly I wondered how many pack children had used it before it got passed down to Kim. My chest ached.

"Are we really going to make cakes?" Alex narrowed her eyes at me.

"Or," I murmured eyeing a plate of brownies on the table, "We could just eat them."

The words were barely out of my mouth before Alex had crammed half a brownie into her mouth. Sitting on a wobbly chair I managed to grab one before Alex pulled the plate towards herself.

"Do you know what I think?" Alex mumbled with her mouth still full.

"What do you think?"

"I think we should find you a man," Alex smiled brightly and I tried not to laugh at the chocolate stuck in her teeth, "A real, macho man who can beat Paul up and leave him for dead."

"I don't think that would be possible." My eyes drifted through the open kitchen door to the photograph hanging in the hallway. It was a pack photograph. I remembered how Paul's height would continuously take my breath away and the countless times I had told Embry not to hug me so tightly. They were designed to kill, not be killed. They were almost indestructible.

"Surely something can hurt them?" she whined. I took another bite of my brownie. I could feel the wine sloshing around in the bottom of my stomach and Alex's face was beginning to seem slightly fuzzy.

"Only vampires," I rolled my eyes while Alex's mouth fell open with an audible pop. She twisted around to face me as if waiting for me to burst into a fit of laughter.

"V-vampires?" her voice was quiet, "They actually exist? Real 'I'm going to suck your blood' vampires?"

"Unfortunately yes," I shivered, "but you are definitely not hooking me up with one of them. They're too cold and marble like. Also, I couldn't cook them dinner."

"That is too-" Alex took a deep breath, "_cool_! Can I meet one? Every single horror movie I have ever watched is totally failing in comparison to my real life right now. I'm not dreaming, am I?"

"No Alex," I pinched her hard, "You are not dreaming."

"So cool," she squealed as she pinched her own skin again, "Why don't you put any of this in your books? You would sell millions."

"I don't know," I shrugged, "I write fiction."

We both burst out laughing.

"All we need now is witches and ghosts. We could totally make La Push the first ever supernatural community."

"Good luck with that," I smiled as she grabbed yet another brownie.

I could always count on Alex to brighten my mood.

_Thoughts?_

_I go on holiday on Saturday for three weeks, but I have another chapter idea already making my fingers itch so hopefully I can update before then. But if not, I'm not abandoning you all! Speak to you all later. _


	7. Remembering

**Paul's POV**

The air smelled different.

It was as if someone had sprayed an unfamiliar perfume and mingled it in with the surrounding air. The trees in the forest seemed more welcoming than usual and the paintbrush in my hand seemed heavier. Something was definitely off. It was making me on edge. My Mum had always joked about my intuition but I was beginning to think she might not actually be talking a trolley load of crap.

"Why are we doing this again?" Embry wasn't actually doing anything. He clutched a bottle of water in his hand as he looked longingly out of the window. Brady flicked paint at his head while I internally told myself not to go mental and break something else in the house. If they didn't muck around all the damn time, we would have been finished hours ago.

"Because Lisa wanted me to paint the lounge before she moves in," I shrugged. It was so much easier to do what she wanted and make her smile than argue for hours on end over something as stupid as paint. I didn't have the energy.

"There was nothing wrong with your old walls," Embry grumbled as he grudgingly picked up his paint brush again. I tried to remember if I had stashed any cans of beer anywhere. I desperately needed something strong to drink.

"They looked dirty and cheap," I quoted word for word. Already I had thrown out my favourite armchair and actually opened the blinds in my bedroom. Painting the walls didn't seem like too much of a challenge.

"Listen," I continued, "It was either this or sit with Lisa while she goes through countless wedding magazines. She would probably have you trying on suits again."

Embry and Brady shuddered.

"Man. I think I still have the mark where she stuck that pin into my leg last time," Embry groaned as he narrowed his eyes and concentrated on the patch of wall in front of him. I was probably going to have to repaint his patch of wall.

"You did call her bridezilla," Brady laughed from across the room. My lips twitched at the sides but I managed to hold in my laughter. She had been pretty stressed that day. I remembered coming home to find strips of material and her wedding scrapbook scattered across the room. Lisa was definitely hard work.

"She just wants everything to be perfect," I attempted to speak in her defence.

"Lisa is definitely going to be high maintenance," Brady muttered under his breath. I curled my hands into fists as I gritted my teeth,

"I should hit you for that," I grumbled. Any other imprint would have had Brady pinned against the wall in an instant if he even joked about their girl.

"We both know you won't," he stared me straight in the eye, "but if it had been Lil-"

"Don't say her name," I spat, "She's ancient history."

Throwing my paintbrush to the ground I walked out of the front door to sit on the front steps. My head ached. More than anything I just wanted to run for hours on end. I knew Lisa would worry though. I remembered the last time I disappeared for more than a day and came home to find her sobbing on my couch. It was so easy for me to hurt her. Too easy.

It had taken years for us to build trust between us and at times I still felt she would question me more than any other girlfriend would. Sure, I had proposed before we were both ready but it gave her the faith in me that I needed her to have. We couldn't live in the past. Lisa was my imprint. My soul mate. I just had to deal with that.

The slam of a door jolted me from my thoughts.

I smelt her before I saw her. I would recognise the smell of her peppermint shampoo and constant worry across a crowded room. However, what I wasn't expecting was the look. It was the same look that she had given me when I had turned up at her door after disappearing for a month. It was the same look she had given me when I had sided with my Mum rather than her. It was the look that she always wore if anyone dared to bring up her sister. That look terrified me.

"Have you seen her?" Lisa's voice cut through the air like a knife. Angry tears glistened in her eyes and I surveyed the way she dug her fingernails into the palm of her hands. Behind her Kim looked tired; her usual fiery energy seemed less bright.

"Who?" I took a step towards Lisa but she automatically took a step backwards. I could hear Embry and Brady coming to stand behind me. Something was very wrong.

"You know who," she spat.

"Lisa. Maybe you should explain-"

"Oh shut up Kim," Lisa cut in and I couldn't help but stare at her in shock, "Why don't you just go home to your best friend and her new fucking mini cooper?"

"I'm only trying to help," Kim's voice was strong as she fought back, "You're turning into a right bitch lately. I'm not sure I like it."

"At least I didn't stab you in the back," Lisa's voice was losing some of it's momentum and she didn't fight as I pulled her gently into her side. I looked desperately at Embry for help. If I saw red and yelled at Kim, Jared would hack me into a thousand pieces but if I didn't stand up for Lisa, she would punish me for weeks. I wasn't sure which would be worse.

"Look girls-" Brady began with a smile.

"Tell me you haven't seen her?" Lisa interrupted again. Her eyes were wide as she grabbed onto my shirt. I had no idea what was going on. Instantly, I wished everyone would just leave so I could make her smile again. It was only when she smiled at me that I was convinced that I was doing the right thing, that she needed me in her life. When she smiled, I could almost forget everything that had happened between us in the past. Almost.

"Of course he hasn't," Kim sighed, "She bumped into me in the supermarket. She wasn't even going to come into La Push until I practically dragged her here."

"_Who_?" I said again. Rain began to fall around us as if catching onto our moods.

"Lily." Lisa's stare didn't falter as she looked up at me. My heart stopped. It took every ounce of my strength in that moment not to change my expression. The name bounced off the inside of my head. Lily.

I thought of the last time I had seen her. For days I had watched as she sat on the front porch of her Dad's house. She seemed to have detached herself from the old her. She didn't even recognise me when we walked by each other at the mall, or maybe she didn't want to. By the time the pack caught up with me and finally pulled me away she looked healthier, happier. It was clear that she was much better off without me in her life despite what I thought. Often I wondered what would have happened if I had stopped her and made her listen to me that day in the mall. Countless times I wondered how it was possible for me to feel such feelings towards someone who was not my imprint.

"Your sister?" Embry spoke from behind me. Silently, I thanked him. I wasn't sure if I would have been able to speak without my voice cracking.

"Please," Lily whispered ignoring everyone else, "Please don't leave me. I don't think I could stand it."

It was only then that I realised her tiny hands still gripped my shirt. A single tear ran down the length of her cheek. It was selfish of me to think of anyone but her. She was my imprint. I was supposed to love her. She had given up everything for me and it was about time that I did the same.

"Never," I promised and despite everything, I meant it. I owed her everything.

"I don't think she's here to start trouble," Kim yelled over the rain. I remembered the way she had stayed away from Lisa in the beginning. I remembered the night that Lisa cried to me after Kim told her that she could never replace her sister. The bond between Lily and Kim had always been deeper than I could ever understand.

"Just leave Kim," I muttered, "You too Embry and Brady."

"Paul," Kim's voice was soft as she looked between Lisa and I, "I'm not trying to cause any trouble. Lily isn't here to come between you both."

"Kim," I spat, "Just leave."

Pulling Lisa into the house behind me I slammed the door. It seemed to be glaring me in the face as if accusing me of blocking out my problems. In truth it hurt too much too think about an adult Lily; an adult Lily who could have a boyfriend, who could have forgotten about me. It was easier to stick with what I knew.

"Lisa. Calm down," I murmured as I placed her on the sofa.

"It just hurts so much," she gasped as she clutched at her chest, "I j-just don't think I could stand it if y-you left me."

"Lisa," I tilted her face up to meet mine, "I will never leave you." The words burned the back of my throat but I forced them out. Millions of guys would have killed to have a girl like Lisa. She tried so hard to get everyone to like her but inside she was just as damaged as me. We were just one messed up couple. Strangely, that was what made us stronger during tough times.

"Can I stay here tonight?" Her face was red and streaked with tears. Sighing, I wrapped my arms tightly around her and pulled her tighter into my chest.

"Of course," I placed a kiss on the top of her head, "And then we can discuss wedding plans tomorrow."

"We don't have to," she sniffed. It was only then I realised how tired she looked. She had been putting all of her energy into the wedding and I had been avoiding it at all costs. My legs ached to go out a run but I forced myself to stay put. Lisa needed me.

"I want to," I lied.

Everything was silent for a second. I couldn't stop my thoughts from drifting to Lily. I wondered what she looked like. I remembered the way her tiny hand slotted into mine and her laugh that would leave me watching her in wonder. She was like no one I had ever met before. Lisa's eyes drifted to mine again as if she could read my mine.

"Just promise me that you wont try and find her?"

"I promise."

My promise sounded flat even to my own ears. However, Lily just turned over and snuggled into my arms. I found myself falling back into our familiar routine as my fingers reached up to run through her hair. Lisa let out a contented sight.

Maybe I could just pretend everything was alright. I owed it to Lisa.

_Thoughts? _


	8. Realisation

_I know, I know. It has been FOREVER since I updated and I am truly sorry. Thank you as always for all of your reviews. I hope you enjoy this update… _

As I stood outside of my Mum's house I wondered why I had prolonged coming home for so long. I loved everything about my old house. I loved the chipped red colour of the front door and the overgrown flowers that my Mum always swore she would cut down. I loved the creaky sound my single bed had made when I jumped in it and the porch swing where Lisa and I had sat on sunny mornings to eat our breakfast. I loved the green painted walls and massive back garden. I had missed it terribly.

"I'll be at the Diner if you need me." Alex's hand was soft on my shoulder. She had caught me trying to sneak out of the house in the early hours of the morning. Damn her and her body clock. When she finally realised that that I intended to visit my Mum, she insisted on walking me home. I had never appreciated her friendship more.

"You're not coming in with me?"

I knew I sounded pathetic and weak, it was my mother for goodness sake. Alex just rolled her eyes and gave me a little push forwards.

"I think you need to do this alone. Besides, Kim told me that they do a great breakfast at the Diner and I'm starved."

"They do," I agreed remembering the many times Kim and I had stumbled to the Diner still half asleep, "Get the chocolate chip pancakes and if you're still hungry get the blueberry ones. In fact, I might just come with you."

"No way," she shook her head from side to side, "You're stalling and you know there is nothing I hate more than stalling. Suck it up."

"You're evil," I decided as my eyes darted to the front door once again. Before I had the chance to blink Alex had pressed her finger down on the doorbell, hard.

"Maybe," she laughed, "Have fun."

In that moment, I could think of nothing better than flinging her to the wolves, literally. Instead, I was left standing on the front porch while she ran down the steps.

"Remember your manners," she called as she continued to run away.

I didn't have time to think of a retort before she disappeared from view. From inside I could hear the thud of footsteps. The palms of my hands began to sweat and I quickly wiped them on my shorts. I was a wreck.

The last time I had seen my Mum had been three years previously when she had flown to LA in an attempt to bring my home. At the time, I hated her for it. I had only just put down roots, I had only just put my past behind me but then she turned up on my doorstep and everything came rushing back in an instant.

Instead of hearing her out, I blamed her for pushing Paul and I together when Lisa was in the hospital. I blamed her for letting me leave La Push in the first place. I blamed her for the bitter, angry person I had become. Minutes later I had regretted everything that had come from my mouth but instead of admitting that, I turned and walked away. However, even after that she continued to phone me and email me. She never gave up and I found myself wishing that I could be more like her. More determined.

"Lils?"

My throat tightened at the sound of her familiar voice. As I looked up, I couldn't stop the tears that fell from my eyes. She crushed me to her chest in an instant.

"Lils?" She stroked my hair, "Is that really you?"

My voice seemed to have disappeared. She smelled exactly as I remembered and her touch was so familiar that I seemed to melt into her arms. I had missed her so damn much.

"I'm so sorry," I managed to croak out.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

To me, it felt as though we hugged for hours. When Mum finally stepped back, the tears had dried on my face. She looked exactly as I remembered. Her greying hair was piled up messily on top of her head and the glasses she wore were crooked on her face. I loved her so much.

"You've changed so much," she breathed. I didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. I definitely wasn't the same Lily who had left four years before.

"Come on. Let's go inside."

The house was exactly as I remembered it. I swallowed a lump in my throat as my eyes flickered to the photograph of Lisa and I hanging in the hallway; it had been taken one Summer at the beach. We looked so happy with our arms around each others shoulders and ice cream on our faces. I longed for those days.

"Charlotte, who is it?"

I stopped abruptly in the hallway. My Mum's smile faltered as she turned to look at me and I had the sudden urge to run back towards the front door.

"I-I cant," I murmured beginning to back away.

"Charlotte…" the voice trailed off as we locked eyes. Unlike my Mum, she didn't run and grab me in a hug instead she stared accusingly at me. I hadn't expected anything less.

Mrs Atera - or June as she always told me to call her - was the complete opposite from my Mum in many ways and yet, when Paul and I had began to grow close they had formed an easy friendship that I had often surveyed with wonder. As she stood in the kitchen doorway I couldn't help but note the stiletto heels on her feet and the long blonde hair that she continued to dye despite being in her late fifties. She was an exceptional woman.

"Well, well the wanderer returns," she smirked, "I thought you'd been murdered. I decided that could be the only reason that you couldn't phone me, or write to me-"

"June," my Mum scolded, "We only just got her back."

Silence descended on us. June pursed her lips while my Mum looked anxiously in my direction. It was as if they were waiting for me to run again. I couldn't exactly blame them.

"No," I murmured as I took a cautious step forward, "She's right. I shouldn't have blocked you out like I did."

"Damn right you shouldn't have," June muttered, "No matter what my son has done to you, I thought or relationship was more than that."

"It was. It is!"

"Well then, why are you standing there like a headless chicken instead of giving me a hug?"

My Mum and I both breathed out an audible sigh of relief as June's strong arms came around me. I remembered the night when Paul had first imprinted on Lisa. June had locked her own son out of her house and instead let me stay with her; she had always been my rock. I gripped her tighter.

"You are never allowed to leave again without saying goodbye, you hear?"

"I wont," I promised.

Ten minutes later we all sat around a familiar wooden table in the kitchen. I tried desperately not to remember the times when Paul had sat across from me laughing or the time I had watched Lisa feed him some of her food. The place held so many memories that I had tried to forget over the years.

"How are you, really?" My mum was a worrier, she always had been. I watched over the rim of my coffee cup as she catalogued the dark circles under my eyes and my out of control hair.

"I don't really know," I decided that lying would be futile, "Kim has been great. I snuck out of the house before I could see Jared this morning though. I'm scared everyone is going to hate me."

"Don't be ridiculous," June scoffed, "Everyone has missed you like crazy."

"Lisa certainly doesn't seem to have."

They both winced. I clocked a new photograph on the kitchen window sill; one of Paul and Lisa. They were sitting on the beach; one of Paul shirts drowned Lisa's tiny frame and he was smiling as she pushed the hair from his eyes. It would have been endearing, if it hadn't made me want to throw up.

"Lisa has missed you the most," my Mum decided, "She just doesn't know how to handle your return, especially with the wedding do close."

"She hates me," I argued. I remembered the wild look in her eyes the night before. It had scared me. Maybe things were truly too broken to fix.

"Paul are her don't exactly have the conventional imprint relationship and I guess she feels threatened by your return." I watched the way June hid a smile by reaching for her mug. She had always routed for Paul and I. I just hoped that she had moved on, just like I was trying to.

"He has missed you," June said suddenly. The air in the kitchen seemed to grow suddenly cold and I watched as my Mum narrowed her eyes in June's direction.

"It doesn't matter," I spoke through gritted teeth. Didn't she realise how hard it was to try and get over him? I didn't need her forcing us together.

"It should. If he wasn't a wolf-"

"But he is."

"If he wasn't-"

"But he _is_!" I slammed my mug down on the table and stood up. It had been a mistake coming home so soon. I wished Alex had stayed with me, she would have kept peace with everyone.

"Hun," my Mum reached out to me while June coolly lifted her mug to her lips, "Sit down. I made some lemon cake yesterday. Is it still your favourite?"

I winced.

"Thanks," My eyes never left June's, "But I should go."

The words had only just left my lips when someone burst in through the backdoor.

"Hey. I came for some of Lisa's stuff and-"

His voice trailed off. The hairs on my arms stood up and I was trying desperately to calm my beating heart. I could tell the instant he caught my scent; he stood up instantly straighter and his eyes darkened. I gripped onto the back of my chair to stop myself from falling over.

"Paul!" My Mum's eyes flickered between us both while June leant further back in her chair as if waiting for a show to begin. I needed to leave, immediately.

"What is _she_ doing here?"

My heart clenched. He was so damn angry. The last time I had seen him, he had been declaring his love for me on the beach but in that moment he looked like he wanted to murder me again and again.

Despite his words, I couldn't help but notice the way his shirt stretched impressively over his muscles and how soft his lips looked. He certainly hadn't got less appealing with age. Energy seemed to sizzle between us as if we had never been apart. Instantly, I hated myself for noticing those things.

"I-I was just leaving," I tried not to trip over my feet as I headed for the door. Not that it would have mattered, his eyes were looking everywhere but me. I had a sudden urge to hit him.

"Wait," my Mum's voice cracked. I hated hurting her and yet I seemed to do it so effortlessly. I should have stayed in LA.

"Paul?" June stood up and went to put a hand on her son's arm, "Maybe you could give Lily a ride home? Do you have the truck?"

I wanted to curl up and disappear. Steam seemed to seep from his shaking body. He was mad. I wondered if it was wise for June to be standing so close to him. Apparently, he hadn't got the whole anger thing under control. Somehow, it made him a thousand times sexier.

"No," his voice was harsh, "I don't even want to look at her, never mind give her a ride home."

My whole world shattered. If I ever needed confirmation that he was completely over me; that had been it. My body seemed to flop into the nearest seat as he turned and fled the house. I repelled him.

I didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or cry for hours.

_Thoughts? _


	9. Reconnecting

_As always, thank you so much for all of the reviews. Here we go with another chapter._

"Where does he live?"

Alex was mad. I watched with a sense of detachment as she quickened her pace while simultaneously running her hand through her hair again and again. Scratch mad, Alex was furious.

Strangely, I wasn't crying hysterically or hiding where nobody could find me. Instead, I just felt numb. It was exactly what I had wanted. I had wanted everything to go back to the way they once were. I had wanted Paul to love my sister and forget about me so I could truly move on. Yet, his words continued to ring out in my head.

'_I don't even want to look at her.'_

Of course, I had expected him to keep his distance from me. I had expected him to give me the cold shoulder and stick up for my sister instead of me but I hadn't expected him to be so ruthless. Once upon a time Paul had actually cared about my feelings, I could remember him watching my every moment for any sign of worry or upset but in that moment he had seemed so intent on crushing any fight I had left in me. He hated me.

"Where does he fucking live?"

Alex gripped my arm forcing me to come to a sudden standstill. I hadn't realised I was still walking, I wasn't quite sure where I was going. My head was thumping.

'_I don't even want to look at her.'_

"It doesn't matter," I murmured looking pointedly down at her hand, "Maybe it was the push I needed to move on."

"He had no right to say that to you. He's an asshole. You were his girlfriend and now he-""I wasn't his girlfriend," I said lamely while she let out a sound of frustration.

"We are so not going over that again," she raged, "I want to hurt him Lils. I want to push him off the nearest cliff. No. In fact, I want to tie him to a tree and invite some vampires to eat him."

"That's a little harsh," I decided as she finally let go of my arm. A truck drove by us, splashing us with puddle water. My day was just getting better and better. I sniffed.

'_I don't even want to look at her.'_

"Harsh? It is not nearly harsh enough." Alex narrowed her eyes at me. "Why are you so okay with this?"

I wasn't. I completely wasn't but if I admitted that, I was pretty sure I would have another breakdown. I would just have to get used to it, there was no other choice.

"Paul is getting married to my sister," I forced the words out, "Our relationship is ancient history. I need to get over it. He was just making his feelings clear is all."

"You are completely mental," Alex decided, "I don't care what you say, if I ever set eyes on this asshole, he will not come away unharmed. I will destroy him."

'_I don't even want to look at her.'_

"Alex," my voice sounded weary even to my own ears, "Can we please just drop this? All I want to do is get back to Kim's so I can sleep."

I could feel her eyes on me as I started to walk again. Despite her fire, she always knew when I needed my space which was what had helped our friendship to survive over the years. I managed a small smile in her direction as she reached out for my hand.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm sorry I forced you to come back here. Never in a million years would I have been able to dream up all of the magical mumbo jumbo crap that is going on here. We should have stayed in LA."

It was only then that I noticed the shininess of Alex's eyes. She looked like she was about to cry, and Alex never cried. It dawned on me that she was having to deal with a lot of stuff too; vampires, wolves, a train wreck of a best friend. I had been leaning on her more than I had even realised. Maybe it was time for me to man up and look out for her for a change.

"_Hey,"_ I squeezed her hand tightly in mine, "I needed to come back here. Despite everything, when I saw that look of joy on my Mum's face today, I realised how much I hurt her when I left. I need to make things right with Kim again, and my sister if she will let me. Thank you for making me do this."

She scoffed.

"I would never turn on you like your sister, even if some freaky wolf did imprint on me. In fact, I would just ignore the guy all together. I would hate to be forced to love someone."

"It's not as easy as that," I told her gently. We were nearing Kim's house. I could see Alex trying to get a hold of herself. It always amazed me how she kept her composure in the middle of chaos.

"I would make it that easy," she decided, "Nobody comes before you. I would never do what your sister has done."

I knew something was strange the minute we walked into Kim's hallway. It was quiet, _too_ quiet. Alex shot me a worried look as we both crept forward. One of the floorboards creaked underneath me and Alex slapped her hand over my mouth before I could let out a scream. Something very strange was going on.

"Surprise!"

Alex let out a scream of her own while I staggered backwards. I was going to absolutely murder Kim. A 'Welcome Back' banner was pinned on the wall and every single person I had been trying to avoid was crowded into the tiny room. Emily, Sam, Leah, Seth, Quil, Brady, Collin, Embry. It was all too much. I almost fell over as two, little kids chased each other by me.

'_I don't even want to look at her.'_

"What the hell?" Alex breathed while everyone else burst out laughing. I didn't have a minute to think before someone pulled me into a hug. I had forgotten how the population of La Push didn't have any regards for personal space.

I detangled myself from the person's grip and took a step backwards. Emily's scarred face stepped into my line of vision; a massive grin was plastered on her face.

"Welcome home," she breathed.

Everyone looked so different. Sam looked as though he actually might have aged a few years, had he stopped phasing? I was pretty sure the little girl sitting on Quil's lap was Claire; she looked so grown up, I wondered whether she went to the school in La Push. Brady had shaved all of his hair off while Embry's hair looked out of control and shaggy. I was trying to process everything all at once but it was making my head spin. I hardly knew them any more.

"Who are all of these people?" Alex whispered in my ear. I spotted my Mum and June sneaking in through the back door. My heart swelled. Had all of these people really missed me?

"We're her La Push family," Emily answered for me before introducing herself to Alex. I jumped as someone placed a warm hand on my arm. I had forgotten what it was like to be around so many people. The room was so loud.

"Where did you sneak off to this morning?"

'_I don't even want to look at her.'_

Jared was the person I was least looking forward to seeing, aside from Paul. He was Paul's best friend. Before Paul imprinted on Lisa, Jared, Paul and I had spent days together down by the beach. He had always been like a big brother to me which was why I felt so awful about the things I said to him on my last day in La Push.

"I-I went to see my Mum."

I stumbled sideways as two little boys ran past me, I didn't even know who they were. Jared reached out to steady me. People laughed around me and I fought the urge to cover my ears.

'_I don't even want to look at her.'_

"Hey," Jared's eyes were unusually soft as he peered down at me, "Are you alright?"

"I'm trying to be," I choked out, "This is just all so overwhelming."

I didn't have a moment to think before Jared pulled me into a tight hug. My throat tightened at the gesture. He smelled so much like Paul.

"Kim just wanted to show you how loved you are," he murmured as I hid my face in his chest, "We don't want you to leave again. There's more to life than Paul Atera."

I let out a bitter laugh as I took a small step backwards. I could feel my Mum's eyes on me from across the room.

"I know," I shrugged, "I haven't exactly been hiding in a cave these past four years."

"You could have fooled me. Shouldn't you be more tanned for living in LA?"

I pushed him lightly on the chest and he pretended to stumble backwards. Kim caught my eye from her seat on the sofa; she looked so happy.

"At least I haven't got any grey hairs," I attempted to joke.

"I do not have grey hairs!"

A loud crash sounded interrupting our light banter. My eyes flickered to the floor where several plates lay in pieces.

Oh shit. Oh no.

Embry Call stood behind the smashed plates, his eyes were wide with wonder as if he had just seen the sun for the first time in years. My stomach sunk as Jared reached out to grab my arm. My eyes followed Embry's.

I felt like I was going to throw up. The whole room was suddenly silent.

Embry Call had just imprinted on Alex.

_Thoughts? _


	10. Reassurances

_Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your reviews. I love to hear what you think. Here's another chapter. Enjoy…_

"Oh shit," Jared murmured from beside me.

Everyone suddenly began speaking in an attempt to cover up what had just happened but my eyes wouldn't leave Emrby's face. He looked so alive. I saw a spark in his eyes that hadn't been there five seconds previously. It was as if he had just found his reason for existing. In those eyes, I saw a fierceness and protectiveness that made me long for someone to look at me like that.

"Shit," Kim was suddenly beside me, "Lily, are you alright?"

I hardly heard her. Instead, my eyes flickered from Embry to Alex. I could see the clogs turning in her brain as Embry continued to stare at her. Beside her, Emily had a hand on her arm but Alex barely seemed to notice. She was wrapped up in her own little world. A world where Embry was her main priority.

Strangely, the eyes of everyone were on me instead of the new imprint. It was as if everyone was waiting for me to break down in tears or scream at Embry. My head was spinning. I couldn't break down in front of these people. They were all supposed to think that I had moved on, that I didn't need Paul in my life anymore. I had to be strong.

My eyes finally found the floor as Embry began to walk in Alex's direction. It seemed cruel somehow that everyone I had ever loved got snatched away from me by the pack while I had to struggle through life alone.

"Lily?" Jared was speaking to be in a hushed whisper, "Are you alright? Do you need to sit down?"

"No," I managed to choke out, "I-I just need to go to the bathroom."

I didn't give him another chance to speak before I walked carefully towards the door, trying to keep my legs from shaking. Brady looked at me with pitying eyes as I headed towards the stairs. I hated that look. I hated pity. It was the same look I had gotten when they had all found out that Paul had imprinted on Lily. It was the same look that Kim had given me the day she had found me sitting on the sidewalk.

I was being pathetic.

My heart squeezed tightly in my chest as I locked myself in the bathroom and slid down the door. I pressed my hand over my mouth before a sob could escape. I had no right to cry. I should have been happy. I should have been hugging Alex and joking around with Embry. It wasn't my place to stand in the way of a once in a lifetime love.

Embry had always been one of my favourite wolves. He was the only wolf that ever offered me the last cookie or let me cuddle into him when I was feeling cold and lonely. He had always made me feel included even when Paul imprinted on Lisa. He would be so perfect for Alex. I could see that, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Everyone seemed to get a role in the fairytale apart from me.

"Lily," I winced as someone thumped on the locked door, "Open the god damn door right this instant or I will get one of those giants to knock it down."

I had to be there for her. I had to be supportive. That's what any good friend would do. Standing up, I washed away the tears from my face and ran a hand through my hair in an attempt to tame it.

"Lils," Alex threw herself into my arms when I finally opened the door. Kim and Emily were standing in the doorway but they didn't get a chance to say a word before Alex slammed the door in their face.

"I cant believe that damn dog just imprinted on me," she sat down on the toilet seat with a thud. Her eyes were wide.

"It's great." I tried to make my voice bright and cheerful. I would not put a damper on her day. Alex narrowed her eyes at me as I sat down on the floor. I could hear people whispering outside in the hallway.

"Great?" she snapped, "Would you please stop pulling this bullshit? I told you that I would resist the imprint. I will not put some guy before you, ever."

"Alex, an imprint is a magical love. He will love you forever. What girl wouldn't want that?"

"Me!"

"But-"

"No," she put her hand up to silence me, "I am _not_ that girl. I have witnessed the effect that imprinting has had on you. I wont be a part of it."

"Embry is a really nice guy," I tried, "He-"

"I'm sure he is," she smiled tightly, "And I'm sure he'll meet a really nice girl one day when I manage to convince him that I do not want to be imprinted on. But I don't want a fairytale. I'm quite happy to marry Tom from apartment 7C in five years time."

"Tom from apartment 7C? You hate him," I spluttered. She let out a laugh as she pulled me towards her.

"There is a very thin line between love and hate honey," Alex smirked, "He gave me half of his Chinese one night when I locked myself out. I've met his Dad in the hallway so I know he's not going to suddenly turn ugly and twins run in his family. I'm sorted."

"Stop being ridiculous. Embry is the sweetest, most considerate person you will ever meet. He would spoil you and he would make you happy. I want you to be happy."

"I've only just met the guy," she sighed, "His hair is a mess and he has on a ratty, old pair of shorts that must be ten years out of fashion. I am not attracted to him-"

"Now, I know you're lying," I pushed her gently, "All of the pack are extremely good looking. Every girl in Washington wants to be with them."

"Let them," Alex shrugged and got up to look at herself in the mirror, "We are here for the wedding and then we are going home. I don't believe in imprinting anyway. If it was truly magical, then it wouldn't have forced you and Paul apart. I know how much you love him."

"Loved," I corrected her softly.

"You can lie to anyone but me," she smiled and I rolled my eyes at her, "But we're not talking about that asshole. When we get back to LA I'm going to ask Tom on a date and we're going to find you a man of your own. Embry will just have to get over my spectacular beauty."

I scoffed. I wished it was that easy.

"But right now," Alex continued, "We're going to sneak out of the window and go get me some more pancakes from the Diner."

"You're insane. We're one story up."

"And your point is?"

I shook my head as I watched her climb up onto the sink and then onto the window ledge. She had endless legs, where as I would be lucky to even get up onto the ledge.

"You're going to kill yourself," I muttered. She was being absolutely ridiculous. I desperately hoped that none of the wolves were listening to our conversation. I knew that she was just trying to distract me from the situation at hand, but it was working.

"Don't be so melodramatic. There's a pipe running down the side of the house, just use that to hold onto. I'll be down there to catch you if you fall anyway."

I didn't have time to protest before she shimmied to the open window and stuck her legs out. I stood on the toilet seat and attempted to jump onto the sink. I cursed as I whacked my hand off of the sink and crumpled to the floor. My heart jumped as someone knocked lightly on the door.

"We're busy," I called through gritted teeth. My hand stung like a bitch. Damn Alex and her long legs. She had disappeared.

"Do you need some help? That window is pretty high."

A laugh escaped my mouth as I opened the door for Jared. He rolled his eyes as he lifted me up onto the window ledge without a word.

"Did anyone else-"

"No," he shook his head, "I was just being nosey and listening in. Embry phased, the other guys are out in the woods trying to calm him down. No one heard you."

I looked down at my feet.

"Embry is a good guy," he murmured.

"I know that," I whispered.

"He'll win her over. Just be prepared for it. I don't want to see you get hurt again and neither does Kim," he smiled gently at me, "You can't run forever."

"Come _on_!" Alex shouted from beneath me, "Don't be a chicken. It's easy."

Glancing downwards I looked at the pipe and prayed that it would hold my weight.

"Please don't break a bone. Kim is already going to kill me enough as it is," Jared muttered under his breath, "I was never here."

Hiding a smile, I took a deep breath and leant out of the window to grab onto the pipe. Swinging my whole body round I closed my eyes and held on tightly as I shuffled down the side of the house.

I almost lost my grip as a wolf howled in the distance, a painful howl. My heart sunk. Somebody always got hurt.

"See. That wasn't so hard was it?" Alex spoke as I finally reached the ground. She smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes, she was already thinking about Embry. The drama just never ended.

I just hoped that whoever was writing my script would give me a good part one day soon. I was tired of being the one who got left behind.

_Thoughts?_

_Sorry it was so short. I desperately need to sleep. I promise a longer update next time :)_


	11. Rescuing

_Okay. So I know I just posted a chapter yesterday, but this chapter was itching to be written and as soon as I finished it, I just wanted to post it. So…here you are. As always, thank you for all of your reviews. Enjoy. _

Embry Call was everywhere.

He would be sitting at the kitchen table watching Alex read one of her countless fashion magazines when I finally stumbled out of bed in the morning. He helped me fill up my Mini at the gas station while Alex pretended to examine her nails. He ran by us at the beach when Alex and I went a walk. He turned up at the door with pizzas and beer when we were babysitting Kiera.

"I can't take this anymore," Alex hissed when Embry turned up at the supermarket where we were shopping, "Are you seriously telling me that you have no vampires on speed dial that could take a chunk out of him?"

"He's just trying to get you to notice him," I laughed as I tried to remember the ingredients to my Mum's lemon cake. Throughout the week Alex and I had been spending a lot of time with my Mum and June in an attempt to ditch Embry. It never quite worked like that. Instead, he would patrol around the house until we left. The whole thing was beginning to verge on obsession.

"Oh, I notice him alright," she said loudly, "I notice that he's been wearing the same shirt and pair of shorts for four days. He should go home and change or something."

"Subtle." Alex just shrugged and pretended to examine a bag of flour. I could see the way she was watching him out of the corner of her eye when she thought I wasn't watching. She was attracted to him, however much she wanted to deny it.

"Why are you even attempting to make this cake? We both know you suck at anything that isn't microwaveable."

"It's my Mum's favourite.." I trailed off.

"And Lisa's. I don't even know why you're trying. She has made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to talk to you and I don't see why you should make an effort. She is a bitch. Personally, I think we should just get in the Mini and drive back to LA."

We both pretended not to hear the whining sound that came from the aisle behind us.

It had been hard. Every single time I went to visit my Mum, Lisa would leave. I felt unwelcome in my own home. Our room didn't look like our room anymore. There was an empty space where my bed used to be and white marks where my photographs used to hang. It was as if she had done everything to remove me from her life. It was as if I had never existed at all.

"She spoke to me yesterday," I reminded her.

"She told you 'to get the fuck out of her way so she could get some candy.'" We both pretended not to hear Embry's muffled laughter. I let out a sigh.

"It's progress," I decided.

"What else do we need?" Alex whined, "I'd quite like to make this cake at some point today so I can actually eat some of it."

"Lemons!" We definitely needed lemons.

"If we drove all of the way home without lemons, I may have had to murder you in your sleep."

"The death threats are getting a little old," I muttered under my breath as we walked to the fruit aisle. I didn't have to look behind me to know Embry would be there. As annoying as it was, it actually felt quite nice to know there was someone looking out for us, even if it wasn't for my benefit. I felt safer than I had in years.

"Don't lie. You love the death threats. You could use them as inspiration for your next book."

The words had barely left her mouth before I whacked her in the arm, hard. I checked behind me but Embry seemed to be too engrossed with a poster advertising chips on the wall to be listening to us for a change.

"I don't know why you don't just tell everyone. If I were you I would boast about being one of the most successful authors of the twenty-first century."

"If you don't shut up," I hissed, "I may have to come up with some death threats of my own. You know some of the stuff I write about comes from personal experiences. I don't want these people to know how fucked up I really am."

"Hun. Most people already know."

I glared at her. I knew she was only joking around but it hurt all the same.

"Hey," I bit my tongue to stop myself from lashing out as Embry appeared in front of us, "I found you some lemons."

"We were perfectly capable of finding them on our own," Alex murmured as she snatched the lemons from his hands without touching him.

"Well, you were walking in the wrong direction," he smirked.

"Well, we-" Alex spluttered as she looked in my direction for help. I certainly wasn't going to give her any. It was the perfect opportunity for me to enact my revenge for her earlier comment and for making me climb down a drain pipe four days previously. I still had a giant, purple bruise on my leg from that little experience.

"Hey, Embry? Do you need a ride home?"

I had to hold in my laughter at the ear splitting grin that appeared on his face. It was as if I had told him that he had just won the lottery.

"He managed to get here perfectly fine," Alex glared at me, "So I'm sure he's capable of making it home alive."

"He ran here?" I guessed and he nodded enthusiastically, "It's raining outside and we have extra room in the car," I said as we approached the cash register, "He's coming with us."

"Then I'll walk," Alex decided while the cashier was scanning my items. Embry looked stricken but I just pulled him along after me when we finally paid.

"We cant just leave her," Embry tugged me backwards, "It's raining. She could catch a cold or get lost or worse."

My heart clenched tightly in my chest. He cared so much about her and yet he hardly knew her. I wondered what it would be like to have someone care so much about me.

"Don't be stupid," I hit him on the arm even though I knew he wouldn't even feel it, "I give her forty seconds when we get in the car before she comes running over."

It was actually 32 seconds before she slipped into the passenger seat. Embry looked ridiculous squeezed into the backseat but he had insisted that Alex be comfortable. She didn't even meet my gaze as she shook the rain from her hair. I saw Embry's hand itch to reach out and warm her up.

"Just drive bitch," she grumbled but rolled her eyes at the same time to let me know that she wasn't really mad. I let out a laugh. It was surreal how free I felt despite being back in La Push. It was as if I finally had some direction in my life. I had goals; even if those goals were to get over my ex boyfriend and make friends with my sister again. At least I was living my life again.

"I can't bake," I realised after driving for five minutes. Desperately in my head I was trying to remember how my Mum did it. I tried to remember the measurements and how long to put the cake in the oven. It had to be perfect.

"Oh god," Alex put her head in her hands, "I have tried to tell you that several times in the past four hours."

"Everyone can bake," Embry pronounced from the back seat. Alex actually looked horrified at his input.

"Lily set our old kitchen on fire when she tried to cook a frozen pizza. I cook the food in our apartment, always." She narrowed her eyes at him as if that should have been obvious. He just smiled at her, which seemed to infuriate her more.

"I really can't bake," I whined.

"Why cant Alex just do it?" Embry said that as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel and pressed down on the accelerator. It felt suddenly too warm in the car.

"This isn't just about baking a cake dumbass," Alex stared straight ahead but she shifted around in her seat as if she desperately wanted to turn around and make eye contact with Embry, "It's about her making her sister's favourite cake. It's an apology to her Mum and a gift to Lisa. Baking is something her family shared before Paul, it has nothing to do with him which is why she feels comfortable doing it. It's about moving on."

I wanted to deny everything she was saying, but I couldn't. At times I wondered how transparent I was. Alex always seemed to see right through my actions.

"You girls are too complicated," Embry frowned.

"I'm just being stupid," It dawned on me, "I'm just using this to focus on instead of all the other crap in my life. Besides, if I'm in a kitchen, it lessens my chances of running into Paul."

"You're going to have to see him at some point. He is marrying your sister," Embry spoke again. I was beginning to regret my decision of offering him a lift. He was right, but I didn't really want to face up to the facts at that moment in time.

"So not helping asshole," Alex narrowed her eyes at him in the rear-view mirror. Energy seemed to sizzle between them and I wondered how she was managing to fight such a strong connection. I remembered clearly how Kim barely touched her food when Jared was away fighting vampires and the way her body relaxed when she knew he was near. Imprints were so in sync that sometimes it terrified me. I stepped down on the accelerator again.

"Doesn't June bake?" Alex spoke suddenly.

It had been interesting to watch Alex integrate into La Push life so easily despite being so outrageously different from everyone else. The minute I had introduced Alex to June, they launched into a conversation like old friends while my Mum and I rolled our eyes. They had so much in common. June had moved to the reservation to marry a local boy she met in a dingy bar - Paul's father. She could relate to Alex's observations of La Push where as I thought everything was normal, it was how I had grown up after all. Where as Alex just thought everything was 'damn weird.'

"Yeah, she does," Embry said in answer to her question, "I remember when she brought that kick ass chocolate cake to Sam's birthday bonfire. I think I might have eaten the whole thing." Alex looked mildly impressed while I just continued to press on the gas. The wolves and their stomachs had always been a constant source of amusement for me when I had first met Paul.

"She can teach me," I decided, "And then next time I can make it myself."

"Oh damn. There's going to be a next time," Alex groaned.

The familiar landscape passed by me in a blur of green. I could clearly remember the reckless way that Paul drove, one of his hands on my knee and the other on the steering wheel. He would turn the Foo Fighters up full blast and laugh at my ridiculous singing instead of concentrating on the road ahead, yet I had never felt afraid. That laugh of his had made me warm all over. At times, he had made me act like a reckless girl and I had loved him for it. I had craved every moment with him, even if it was just a drive in the car from A to B. Everything had made sense when Paul was in my life. Everything had felt right. I wondered if that was how Lisa felt.

"Holy shit," Embry grabbed onto my seat from behind interrupting my train of thought, "You're driving like a lunatic. Slow the hell down."

I eased off the gas. I hadn't even realised how fast we had been going. It felt good to speed though, it felt like I was escaping from something. It was how I imagined flying would feel like. I wondered if that was how the wolves felt when they ran.

"Chill out," Alex laughed, "If you think this is fast, you should see her driving around the race track in LA. It's her way of blowing off steam."

"You are both mental. You mean to tell me you drive around like a maniac on a daily basis?"

I shrugged. I wasn't going to deny it.

"If Chief Swan pulls us over, you can just use your get out of free protector card and Alex can flash some chest. We're not going to get a ticket." Emrby shook his head at me. I could see his eyes piercing holes in the back of Alex's head, I wondered if she could feel the intensity of his gaze.

"You sound like…" he trailed off.

"Paul," I realised suddenly, "I sounded like Paul."

Alex narrowed her eyes at Embry while I studiously avoided his gaze. Slowing down, I went over the many other things I had picked up from Paul. My love for sweet chilli sauce. My intense need to swim in the sea when the sun shined. The way I always slept on the right hand side of a bed. My dislike of cats. He had been a part of my life, even when I had tried to push him away. He would always be a part of me in some way.

A heavy silence hung over us for the rest of the drive.

"Is her front door lying open?" Alex gasped as we pulled up outside of June's house. The rain had finally stopped and I could tell that Embry was aching to stretch his legs. The tension between the three of us was thick.

"This is La Push," he shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Lots of people leave their doors open. Everybody knows everyone."

"And you say we're crazy," Alex scoffed as I switched off the ignition.

Embry and Alex were still throwing insults at each other while I grabbed the shopping from the trunk and walked up the open door. I wished I could lock them both inside the car and they could leave me alone with June. I felt like I hadn't had a proper opportunity to talk to her since I got back. She was like a second mother to me. I prayed that Paul wasn't home visiting as I gently pushed the door open.

I knew instantly that something wasn't right.

"You are so annoying," Alex was saying to Embry behind me.

There was a smashed mug lying in the hallway as if it had slipped from someone's grasp. I could hear the background noise of the television but June wasn't in the lounge.

"Something isn't right," I whispered, stopping Embry and Alex mid conversation.

"June?" I called out desperately as I made my way down the hallway, "_June?"_

"June?" Alex called out from behind me, "Are you here?"

Embry put a hand up to silence us as he tilted his head towards the ceiling. He screwed his face up as he moved towards the staircase.

"She's up the stairs I think," he murmured, "Something doesn't feel right."Instantly, I dropped the shopping beside the smashed mug in the hallway and ducked under Embry's arm to run up the stairs. I had never ran so fast in my life. A bad feeling wormed it's way into my stomach. Something was very wrong.

"June?" I called out again but she still didn't answer.

It took me a moment to register what was happening as I burst into the bedroom. I heard a scream and it took me a second to realise that it had left my mouth.

"Call an ambulance," I choked out as I scrambled towards June, "_Now_!"

"Oh God," Alex whispered from behind me.

June was doubled over in the corner of the room. She had been desperately trying to reach for the phone but now her hand was pressed against her heart.

"C-can't breathe," she wheezed.

Tears shone in the corners of her eyes as she doubled over again. She seemed to be struggling to get any air to her lunges. I had no idea what to do. It was so disconcerting to see such a strong women helpless.

"It's going to be okay," I croaked as I reached out to her, "Everything is going to be fine."

I hoped I wasn't lying.

_Thoughts? _


	12. Revisiting

_Hey, sorry it has been so long. As always, thank you for all of the reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter…_

I couldn't stand still. I hated hospitals more than anything else in the world. They brought so many memories to the surface that I would rather forget. People sat speaking in hushed whispers as if afraid that noise would make things worse. The garish yellow walls gave me a headache and that awful, sterile smell made me want to throw up. I despised feeling useless.

"Why won't they tell us anything?" I hissed.

Alex sat against the wall hugging her knees to her chest. Her face had taken on a ghostly complexion. She didn't even complain when Embry carefully placed his arm around her shoulders in an attempt to keep her warm.

"The doctor said he would come and speak to us as soon as June is stabilised," Embry reminded me gently. He was talking to me like I was a child and I didn't appreciate it.

"It's been almost an hour. I'm going to go through there. I need to-"

"You can't do anything," Alex spoke quietly but firmly from her spot on the floor, "You were great on the way over. She knows we're here for her, that's all that matters. We just need to let the doctors do their job."

"She was in so much pain," I whispered. Focusing on the tiled floor, I blinked my tears away. I had to be strong.

"June is an amazing woman," Embry's voice seemed to echo throughout the quiet room, "She will make it through this. She has too."

The words had barely left his mouth before Paul came bursting through the doors, followed closely by Lisa. His whole body was shaking and I fought the urge to run up to him and hide in his arms. His eyes were so feral and wide that a little girl hid her face in her Mum's shirt. He looked wild. A shiver ran up the length of my spine.

"Where is she?" He sounded so lost. June was the only family he had, she meant more to him than I could even begin to imagine. His whole body was on edge. He flinched away from Lisa's touch as she reached out to comfort him. I averted her my gaze as she hastily wiped tears from her eyes.

"Paul," Embry was on his feet in an instant, "You need to calm down. They will come and get us when-"

"I need to see her _now_." Embry didn't even try to fight him as Paul pushed by him. He was on a mission and nobody was going to get in his way.

"Sir," a nurse approached us, "We would appreciate it if you calmed down."

"I want to see my Mum," he hissed, "Where the fuck is she?"

The nurse didn't have time to reply before Paul pushed her easily to the side and stormed towards the double doors at the end of the hallway. Lisa went to follow him but then stopped dead in the middle of the hallway as if unsure what her role was. I tried to keep my face neutral as she turned to face me.

"Thank you." My body went rigid from shock as she flung her arms around my neck. I could hear the tears in her voice and I wanted nothing more than to wipe them away as she had done moments earlier.

"I-I don't know what we would have done if you hadn't found her," she murmured, "Paul would have been devastated."

I tried to remember the last time we had hugged and drew a blank. It only lasted a second before she backed away and went to sit beside Embry, her eyes avoiding mine once again. I wondered if she would ever forgive me for being with Paul first, I wondered if she would ever be able to look me in the eyes without getting hurt.

She was the reason I would always hate hospitals. I wondered if the memories plagued her like they plagued me. Years later I could remember the way my legs stuck to the plastic chairs in the waiting room as I waited for her results. I remembered the sound of our laughter echoing off the walls as I pushed her around the corridors while nurses yelled at us to slow down. I remembered the rubbery taste of the cafeteria food and the dress I had worn when she had been too sick to go to a school dance.

I also remembered the way Paul's hand had squeezed mine when I had brought him to meet my sister for the very first time. I remembered the vibrant pink colour of the flowers he had bought in the shop in order 'to make a good impression.' I wished I didn't remember the way his jaw had slackened when he had first set eyes on Lisa, and the guilt in his eyes when he finally thought to make sure I was alright.

I shivered.

I really hated hospitals.

"Are you alright?" Alex was on her feet, as if she could hear the thoughts running through my mind, "You look like you're going to throw up."

"I'm fine," I backed away as I spoke, suddenly feeling claustrophobic, maybe I was going to throw up "I-I'm just going to get coffee. Anyone want one?"

"I'll have one," Embry spoke up. Alex turned around to glare at him while she put a reassuring hand on my arm. Lisa was looking between the two of us in confusion, as if she was trying to figure our friendship out. Silently, I wished her luck. At time, I couldn't even understand the depth of mine and Alex's relationship.

"I'll come with you."

"No," Alex looked wounded as I took another step backwards, "I'll be fine. I'll bring you back one with extra cream. I promise."

I didn't give Alex the chance to say another word before I turned quickly and walked away. I loved Alex so much, but there were some things that even she didn't know. Some things I wanted to leave in the past.

My footsteps sounded loud as I walked down the familiar corridors. I held my breath as doctors ran by me, I hoped June was okay. It took me a while to realise where I was heading, even when I found myself climbing the stairs. Up and up and up, until there were no more. I almost laughed when I saw the door was already open. Of course Paul would be on the roof. Of course. It had been our spot. At times, fate had a really fucked up sense of humour.

"Are you alright?"

He must have heard my footstep, but he didn't even turn around when I spoke. It took me a minute to register that the sun had gone down. Paul looked defeated as he sat looking out at the lights twinkling in the darkness. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to approach him, to comfort him anymore. That wasn't my place, it was Lisa's.

"Are you alright?"

He finally looked at me. My heart squeezed tightly in my chest. He looked so afraid; an emotion I definitely wasn't used to seeing on Paul's face. He looked older somehow, as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and I didn't have a clue how to help him. I just knew that words wouldn't be enough, so instead I sat cross legged on the ground beside him, hoping my presence would be comfort enough.

I'm not sure how long we sat there. It could have been minutes or hours, but every ragged breath that Paul took seemed to stab at my chest. I remembered another time when we had sat on the roof together; he had been the one to comfort me, to wait until I was ready to face the world. He had always been there for me, even after he imprinted, which was probably why I was finding it so difficult to let him go. I had loved Paul as a friend, as a listener, not just in a romantic way. Some part of me hoped we could still be friends, and just friends - however much it might hurt - when he married my sister. I had missed him.

"Thank you," he muttered suddenly, his eyes meeting mine. I just shrugged my shoulders. He had to know that I would still do anything for him, despite how much it might paint me in a pathetic light, how much it might hurt me. I liked the person I had been when I was with him, sometimes I wished I was still like her; so free and alive.

"She's going to be fine." His voice was hard, as if he was willing his words to be true, as if his words could somehow predict the future. I fought the urge to entangle my hand with his. I ached to touch him.

"Of course she is." June was strong, had always been strong. Paul had inherited a lot of his Mum's traits - his strength and his temper only being a few of them. He laughed a lot like her too; loud and uncaring. I wondered if I would ever hear him laugh again. I wondered if I would ever make him laugh again.

"I'm sorry I've been such an ass recently," his voice was so low that I could hardly hear him, "You know I don't deal well with emotional crap, seeing you just reminded me of a lot of things."

"I know." And somehow I did know. Our thoughts had always been so in sync, it had often scared people, my Mum especially.

"I don't want to hurt your sister. She's been through so much."

"I know," I whispered again.

"I'm so sorry. I just wish it could have been different. Sometimes, I wish we had never met."

That one stung, a lot. But he was right. If he had met Lisa first I would never have known what it felt like to hold his hand or kiss his lips. He would have been a friend to me, or a brother, there would have been no past. And nobody could forget the past, however much we tried.

"I wish you could come and see her with me," his voice was quiet, "My Mum has always loved you."

"I love her too. But it's immediate family only just now for visiting," he winced as I spoke, "Go get Lisa. She's going to be your wife soon. Remember that."

"I'm trying." His eyes were smouldering as they looked down at me. I sat on my hands so I wouldn't do anything I regretted. He was certainly not making the whole 'forgetting about him' thing easy for me.

"Try harder." He couldn't string us both along, I wouldn't let him.

An awkward silence descended on us as he stood up. I knew Alex would be worrying about me, but I just couldn't find the energy to move. I liked the roof; it was so isolated from everyone and everything. It gave me time to think.

"I need to go back inside," Paul stuck his hands into his pockets as he glanced towards the open door, "Are you coming?"

"No," I tried to smile at him, "I think I'll just stay up here for a while longer."He started to walk away from me.

"This is going to work," he paused just before the door, "We can be friends."

I liked his new found optimism, but still I didn't look at him. I could feel his eyes on the back of my head.

"I hope you're right Paul," I said instead, "I hope you're right."

The sound of the door clicking shut was my only answer. I released the breath I didn't even know I had been holding.

He was going to be the death of me.

_Thoughts? _


	13. Rejection

_Sorry. It has been too long since I updated. Here is quite a long chapter to make up for it. Enjoy…_

My fingers tapped rhythmically against the keys on my laptop; I had missed the sound more than I had realised. The sun streaming in through the open window was caressing my neck and I felt more peaceful than I had in days; the ideas were just flowing out of me, which I'm sure my publishers would be thankful to hear. In LA I would routinely spend hours on my own writing while Alex was working, where as in La Push I never seemed to have a moment to myself.

It was nice.

Stretching my legs out on front of me, I narrowly missed kicking over the McDonalds coffee cup that Alex had brought to me in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep. Keeping my fingers resting on the laptop keys my eyes wandered to June who was sleeping in the miniscule hospital bed. Her face seemed to have aged years in the two days since the accident and she seemed more fragile suddenly, more breakable. Every time her chest rose up and down when she breathed, I would breathe my own silent sigh of relief. She was going to be okay, she had to be.

"Lily."

Kim strode in through the open door with Alex close behind her. They made me nervous when they were together, they always had something planned. Something that normally made me want to run for the hills. It unnerved me how well they seemed to be getting on. Just the day before they had suggested that we relive our teenage years and go cliff diving. Safe to say Jared had ended up pushing me in when I had refused to jump which resulted in me almost breaking my hand when I tried to punch him afterwards. Kim had not been happy. It had been awful; cliff diving was certainly something that I had not missed.

"What do you want?" I groaned as I shut my laptop lid, there was no way I was going to get any work done with Kim and Alex around.

"Now, now, is that any way to greet your friends?" Alex winked as she moved my legs aside to collapse onto the window ledge beside me. Kim stayed standing, she had a strange twinkle in her eyes that I hadn't seen since the very first time she told me about sneaking out to meet Jared at night.

"We're staging an intervention," Alex stated. I just looked at her.

"An intervention?"

"Yes," Kim giggled. Actually giggled. I let out another groan. Giggling was never a good sign. Things were just getting better and better.

"What exactly does an intervention involve?"

"This." My eyes grew wide as Kim pulled the tightest, most revealing little black dress I had ever seen from her bag.

"And this." Kim got down on all fours and retrieved a bottle of wine from underneath June's hospital bed. When the hell had they stashed that there? I had literally been in the room every minute that Paul hadn't been there. And it was safe to say that Kim, Alex and Paul weren't on the friendliest of terms.

"And lots and lots of tequila," Alex grinned as she squeezed my arm tightly. She loved tequila way too much for a normal person.

"No. No way."

All I wanted was to go back to Kim's and soak in a bubble bath and play with Kiera until I passed out from exhaustion. Then I would wake up the next day and check on June again. That was all I wanted. Not tequila. Not a little black dress. It all seemed like way too much effort.

"We thought you might say that-" Alex began with a smirk. I really hated that smirk.

"-which was why we brought reinforcements." Kim finished.

I followed their line of sight to the open door where Jared, Embry and Seth stood with their arms folded. They had never looked more ridiculous. It took every ounce of self control I had not to burst out laughing and wake June up.

"What exactly is your plan?" I smiled, "To carry me kicking and screaming to the nearest bar and then handcuff me to my chair?"

"If we have to," Jared shrugged. My smile slipped. They couldn't be serious.

"Guys. Come _on_," I turned to Alex for moral support, "I just want to go home and-"

"No." She interrupted me without a thought, "You have been acting like a zombie for the past two days, you wouldn't even remember to eat if someone didn't bring you food. I miss you! And I need a girls night."

"We all do," Kim agreed, "You owe me. In fact - you owe me several."

I couldn't believe that they were willing to sink as low as blackmail to get me to go out. I looked at Jared but he just shrugged his shoulders. I never had anyone to fight with me in my corner. I sighed.

"What about June?" I murmured. I couldn't just leave her all alone. Paul patrolled at night which was why I always stayed. Always.

"Go." My eyes snapped to June who was struggling to sit up in the bed. Seth was by her side in an instant, carefully helping her. I smiled. Seth truly was the perfect gentleman, sometimes - particularly when Paul had first imprinted on Lisa - I wished that if anyone else could have imprinted on me, for it to be Seth. He was going to make some girl very happy one day.

"But-"

"No buts," she croaked, "If I wasn't stuck in this damn room I would be out with you. I love girls night, you know that."

"I'll make sure she has a tequila shot for you," Alex laughed striding across the room to plant a kiss firmly on June's cheek. I adored how well the two of them got on. Although, I hated that June was ganging up on me too.

"I hate you all," I decided. Alec just laughed as she pulled me up from my seat.

"No you don't," she rolled her eyes, "You love us. Now let's get you changed."

I really did hate them.

Kim and Alex especially.

Self consciously I pulled at the bottom of my dress as I fell out of Embry's truck and onto the nearby sidewalk. Kim giggled loudly as she pulled me to my feet. I had never been the elegant one, that had been Lisa's area of expertise.

"Are you sure you don't want me to-"

"Embry," Alex put her hand up to silence Embry mid sentence, "Leave. Immediately. Thank you for the ride, but if you don't leave right now, I will kick your ass."

"But-"

"This is girls night," Kim shouted. I rolled my eyes. I had forgotten how much of a lightweight she was. Carefully, I pried the empty bottle of wine from her hand and tossed it back into Embry's truck. I winced as I heard something smash.

"But-"

"We're going now," Alex blew a kiss towards Embry before pulling me in the direction of all the noise. Kim followed closely behind muttering something to herself.

"Be safe," Embry called out after us. Alex just sighed, loudly.

"He just cares about you," I murmured. I wished someone cared about me as much as Embry cared about Alex.

"I can take care of myself. We're city girls, I think I can handle myself in Port Angeles."

"I wouldn't be so sure." I flinched as a motor bike sped past us. I grabbed on to Alex's arm.

"Us small town folks can be wild when we want to be," Kim spoke loudly as she pushed open the door to the nearest bar. Laughter surrounded us. A tiny dance floor was in the centre of the room and there were people everywhere; crowded round tables, sitting on each other's laps, talking, smoking, dancing. There was so much love in the air that it hurt to breathe.

"This is insane," Alex breathed as Kim tugged us towards the bar.

"This is early," Kim corrected her, "Wait until later, then you'll find out what insane really is."

"Hello ladies," the barman grinned as we pushed our way through countless bodies to get to the bar, "What are we drinking tonight?"

"Tequila," Alex spoke before I even had the chance to open my mouth, "Lots and lots of tequila. Get on it."

"Yes Miss," he saluted her before reaching for the tequila bottle. It was going to be a long night.

I flinched as I downed my fifth tequila shot. The barman was looking impressed, while Kim looked like she was going to throw up in the nearest trashcan. A crowd seemed to have gathered around us. Alex had disappeared. I hoped she wasn't going to do anything that she would regret. Things had a habit of spreading quickly in small towns, I prayed that she wouldn't do anything to hurt Embry.

"Another shot?" The barman was reaching for the tequila bottle again but I grabbed onto his arm. I couldn't face another shot. I just couldn't.

"Yes please," Kim slurred from beside me, she was leaning all of her weight on the bar. I sighed.

"Not tequila." Even the word made me want to vomit, the bar was beginning to spin around me, "Something else. Please."

"I make a great strawberry daiquiri," he winked. Was he trying to flirt with me? He was kind of cute, if you liked the whole scruffy, leather jacket kind of look. His clothes kind of reminded me of the way that Paul used to dress; all masculine and tough. Unfortunately, he couldn't quite pull off the look the way Paul used to. I had to stop comparing everyone to Paul. It was only then that I realised I still had my hand on his arm. The drink was going to my head.

He smirked.

"A strawberry daiquiri sounds perfect," I muttered moving my hair to create a barrier between the two of us.

"Make that two," Kim spoke from beside me and held up three fingers. I bit down on my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing. I really loved Kim.

"Lily!" I turned to see Alex stumbling towards us in her high heels towing a strange guy behind her. She had reapplied her lipstick and she was grinning at me, too widely.

"This is Matt," she pushed the stranger in my direction, "He likes books, and dogs, and cheeseburgers. You are going to get along brilliantly."

She stole my cocktail from the bar and downed it in one gulp before grabbing onto Kim's arm and disappearing in amongst the hundred of bodies in the bar. I swallowed loudly. I was going to absolutely murder that girl in the morning. I gripped onto the side of the bar to stop myself from falling over in the ridiculously high heels that Alex had forced me into.

"Eh…hi."

I forced myself to look up into the confused green eyes of Matt. He towered above me, even in my high heels, he was almost as tall as my wolves. His blonde hair was tossled as if he had just gotten out of bed and he held a pint of beer casually in his right hand as if it was always there. I tried to find some kind of flaw in him, anything, but I couldn't seem to find one. It was unnerving. No one was that perfect.

"Hi." I tried to catch the eyes of the barman again, I desperately needed another drink.

I could feel Matt's own eyes on my body as if trying to catalogue my every feature, decide if I was good enough for him. I winced; he was probably noticing the slight red tinge to my skin after sitting out in the sun the day before and the dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep that even make up couldn't disguise. If Alex hadn't forced him to come over, his radar probably wouldn't have even picked me up.

"Don't look so scared. I don't bite, honest."

"I'm not scared. I-"

"You look like you're searching for the nearest exit."

"It's not you," It really wasn't, all men seemed to blur into one after Paul, it wasn't fair of me to lead them along, "I'm just annoyed at my friend for setting me up."

"Ouch," he pretended to look offended as he pressed his hand to his chest, "That bullet hurt. I swear I'm not a murderer, no criminal record. You look nice, you're friend seems to think we'd get alone. Give me a chance?"

"I just-" I faltered. I really had no excuse. He was funny, I was smiling at his jokes and yet I still found myself trying to push him away. I had to accept that I may not fall in love with someone the way I had fallen in love with Paul, ever again, but I was eventually going to have to give someone a chance. I couldn't grow old alone, especially when Alex had Embry. My heart clenched. It was selfish of me to secretly wish for things not to work out between the two of them. But it would, imprints always worked out in the end.

"Just get out of a bad break up?" Matt guessed as he flagged the barman down. I fought the urge to laugh. Yeah. Four years before.

"Something like that," I said instead.

"You need to get over it. Drink something strong," he smiled, "If he let you go, then he's obviously blind or stupid. Or both." Paul was definitely not either of those things.

"You're laying the flattery on thick."

"Let's just say, you're friend threatened to murder me in my sleep if I didn't treat you right."

I laughed. A real belly laugh. I tried to remember the last time I had laughed that hard.

"She wasn't joking."

"I didn't doubt it for a second," I tried not to react as he placed his hand on my arm, "Now, what can I get you to drink?"

"I'll have whatever your having." I was trying to be the old me, embrace the fun person that I used to be. I had missed her. More than I had ever realised. I actually used to be spontaneous, I had forgotten that about myself.

"A beer?" He actually wrinkled his nose as he looked between me and his pint glass.

"Why not?"

"Why not indeed," He gave our order to the barman before pulling me into his side, "You're a little bit crazy aren't you?"

"I used to be," I shrugged as our beers were placed in front of us.

"Nah. I think you still are," he smirked as I winced after taking a swig of beer, "Although, maybe we should order you a vodka or something instead." His hand slid down my arm to take my hand in his. He squeezed it tight. My stomach was in knots. Did I really want to get involved with a total stranger?

"Or maybe, we could just get out of here? Go somewhere quieter?" He certainly worked quickly.

"I don't think I-"

I was interrupted by the sound of something smashing. Turning around, all of the air left my lungs in shock. Paul stood dripping wet beside the dance floor, Alex stood in front of him with an empty glass in her hand. Embry was trying to pull her away from him, but she fighting against him. Kim was standing off to one side, she looked white. It was only then that I realised Jared was beside her, he had a steadying hand on her arm. He did not look best pleased. I gulped. They were creating a scene, as always.

"How dare you? How _dare_ you say that?" Alex was screaming, the whole bar had gone silent. What the hell was going on? Why were the pack even at the bar?

"What a bunch of weirdos," Matt shook his head as he took a casual swig of his beer, I flinched, "Anyway, as I was saying before we were interrupted-"

"Wait." I put my hand up to silence him, "Just wait for one second. I'll be back, don't go anywhere."

My legs seemed to be moving of their own accord. My whole body was trembling in anger. Of course they would turn up on girls night and ruin everyone's night. Of course they would. Wherever I went, the wolves seemed to follow, even when I tried my hardest to run away.

"Lily," Paul's eyes were on me. Alex had stopped screaming and instead she was shivering in Embry's arms. I hated Paul in that moment. What the hell had he said to her?

"Outside. Now. _Move_." I didn't give anyone a chance to speak as I moved towards the door. I could feel Matt's eyes on my retreating body. I sighed. Nothing ever worked out for me.

"What the hell are you doing here Paul?" It was freezing outside. I wrapped my arms around my body and had to use every ounce of my will power to stop myself from glancing at his face. I always forgot what I was going to say when I looked at his face.

"Embry was worried about Alex and-"

"That doesn't explain why _you_ are here Paul." I was aware of Alex's soothing hand on my back and Kim's ragged breathing behind me, but I couldn't look at them. They belonged in the pack, they had a purpose, I just kept annoying everyone.

"I just wanted to see you. You've been with my Mum all week and I just I don't know why, I just _needed_ to see you." I made the mistake of looking at his face. He looked so torn. His eyes were tired and he had a slight stubble growing on his chin. He looked a mess. I should never have come back. It was hurting us both too much.

"Where's Lisa?"

"What?"

"Where's Lisa? My sister? _Your_ fucking fiancee?" Jared reached out to comfort me but I pushed him away. I was stronger than I had been four years ago. I could look after myself, I just had to face the reality of the situation, the reality that Paul seemed to be hiding from.

"I-" he faltered as he looked at Embry for back-up, "I don't know."

"You don't know? Ha." I threw my hands up in exasperation, I could feel the alcohol sloshing about my stomach, "You don't know? You are getting married in less than a week, maybe you should be a bit more worried about where she is Paul."

"Lily. Come _on_," Embry was suddenly beside me, "Let's go home. We can continue this discussion back home."

"No! For once, I was having fun and you have to ruin it as always." I glared at Paul.

"Me? Now who's lying. You're forcing yourself to like that guy," he laughed in my face and I fought the urge to slap him, "He's sleazy and completely not your type."

"And what is my type Paul? How the hell would you know what my type is?"

"I…I don't-"

"Exactly," I narrowed my eyes at him, "You don't know me anymore, so please leave me _alone_."

"I just miss you." His voice was barely a whisper.

I didn't respond. I couldn't respond; if I had then I definitely would have broken down and I knew that was exactly what he wanted.

Instead, I turned around and walked back in the bar. I needed another drink. Alex was beside me in an instant. She was unsteady on her feet.

"Are you okay?" I hated the concern in her voice. She was always concerned.

"I'm fine," I turned to face her, "Just don't wait on me. I might not come home tonight. I might go with Matt."

"Lily," her grip tightened on my arm, "This isn't like you. Don't do something stupid to get back at Paul. It's not worth it."

"It's not about Paul. Besides you were the one who introduced me to Matt. Not everything is about Paul."

"Lily-"

"You go home with guys all the time, why is it any different for me?"

"You hate it when I go home with guys," she reminded me.

"Oh well, it can be your turn to hate me then." I ripped my arm form her grasp and walked away. The whole room was a blur. I hated being the bitch. I tried to remember how to place one foot in front of the other. Someone steadied me as I stumbled in my heels.

It seemed to take an age to eventually reach the bar. I felt a little sick as I reached the spot where I had left Matt. He was nowhere to be found. My eyes frantically scanned the rest of the room until they landed on the barman; he looked sympathetic. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.

"Have you seen Matt?" I knew the answer, but for some reason I made myself ask the question, "You know. The guy I was talking to earlier."

"He left," I could feel the vomit rising in my throat, "With a blonde. Five minutes ago."

"But I was only away for twenty minutes," I hated how weak my voice sounded, "Not even twenty minutes."

"He's a quick worker." The barman slid in a tequila shot towards me. I downed it without a second thought. It was suddenly too warm in the bar. I couldn't believe that I had been considering going home with a guy I had met less than an hour earlier. Being back in La Push was messing with my head.

"I need air," I gasped.

"The back door is just down the corridor. It's cold though so-" I didn't give the barman time to finish before I kicked off my heels and ran. I wanted to get in my mini and drive far, far away. Running had worked for me before.

As soon as the door banged closed behind me, I let the sob that had been building in my throat escape and I slid down the nearby wall. I couldn't face going back out the front and facing everybody, I was such an embarrassment. I pulled my knees up to my chest and let another sob escape. I was so pathetic.

Kim was probably fast asleep in Jared's arms in the car. They would go home to their baby and their beautiful home. Jared would hold Kim's hair when she threw up in the morning. They were perfect for each other. Alex would be resisting Embry's affection as always, but when she got tired enough she would snuggle up to his chest and he would carry her into bed. That was all I wanted in life. I had money. I had a successful career. But I would have given it all up for love.

I was pathetic.

"Lils?"

Hastily, I wiped at my eyes as the door opened beside me. It was raining, I hadn't even realised until that moment.

"What do you want Paul?"

"Are you alright?" He sat down beside me on the wet ground. I fought the urge to move closer to his warmth, "Where's that guy you were talking to?"

"He went home," I focused my attention on the individual raindrops hitting the sidewalk, "With a leggy blonde."

"His loss," Paul shrugged like it was nothing. I curled my hands into fists and turned to face him. He looked delighted.

"He was funny," I whispered, "He made me laugh. I liked him Paul. I actually liked him, and he left. They always leave."

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not."

"I really am. I'm sorry for everything." He scooted closer to me and put his arm around my shoulders. He was so, so warm. I seemed to fit into his side like I belonged. However much I tried, I always seemed to end up back with Paul.

"We can't keep doing this."

"I know," he sighed, "I know."

But neither of us moved.

_Thoughts?_

_Thinking of doing a bit of this chapter in Paul's POV and also continuing on from here until they get home in his POV…what do you think? _


	14. Regrets

My head thumped.

I groaned aloud as I struggled to sit up. The room around me was familiar, yet many things had changed. There was an unfamiliar bottle of perfume on the nightstand. There was full length mirror on the wall covering up a crack I knew was there. The walls were painted a pale blue compared to the warm brown I had helped paint them. There was blinds on the window and dresses that were not mine hung in the wardrobe. A lump formed in my throat. I felt sick.

I closed my eyes again for a moment, wishing for a miracle. What the hell had happened the night before? I had been so stupid. Looking down, I noticed that I had on an oversized hoodie over my dress and my shoes were by the open door to the room. He had left a glass of water on the table beside me. He was still looking after me, despite everything. I tried to formulate how to make a quick escape.

For a moment I let myself believe that it was four years previously. He would walk through the door with a grin on his face before slipping into bed beside me and pulling me into his warmth. A tear leaked from the corner of my eye as I imagine him planting a firm kiss on my neck and telling me that he never wanted to leave my side. He had been my everything. Until he had destroyed me. Until we had destroyed each other.

Sighing, I reached for my phone. That had been a long time ago. Lisa could walk in at any moment. If she found me in his bed, mere days before their wedding, the consequences would be catastrophic. Yet again, I would be the one responsible for ruining lives. It seemed to be my only talent, besides writing.

I had twelve missed calls. Seven from Alex. Two from Kim. One from Embry. And two from Jared. I was going to be in so much shit when I finally got back to Kim's. They were probably worried sick. Putting my phone to me ear, I winced at the volume of Alex's voice on her voicemail message.

"Call me _now. _Why the fuck are you not answering your phone? It's fine if you went home with that guy you met. I just want to know you're okay."

The next one was even worse.

"Right. If I don't hear from you in the next hour, I am calling the police. If you're not lying in a ditch somewhere, I am going to freaking kill you when I find you. And it won't be a quick death either."

The death threats always meant she was worried. Pulling the duvet over my head, I pressed my hand against my mouth to muffle a scream. I always seemed to get myself into the crappiest situations. I truly was a walking train wreck. It always surprised me when people continued to be friends with me. No wonder my own sister despised the ground that I walked on.

"You're awake."

Peeking out from underneath the duvet, I drank in the sight of Paul standing awkwardly in the bedroom doorway. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his shorts and unusually he doned one of his very few jerseys. He looked out of place in his own home. It dawned on me that the idea of me sleeping in his bed probably repulsed him.

"How's the hangover?"

My mouth was as dry as the desert and I felt like my eyes were going to stick together. I wanted to throw up in the nearest toilet and then consume triple my body weight in Chinese food, but he certainly didn't need to know that. Instead, I narrowed my eyes.

"What am I doing here Paul?"

"You demanded that I bring you here," he seemed to be looking anywhere but me as he answered. I wasn't used to seeing him look so uncomfortable. It made me sad. Once upon a time we had been so comfortable with each other. He had been the only person that had made me feel truly at ease.

"I did?" My voice sounded small.

"Yeah," his eyes finally met mine, I felt like I was drowning, "I took you back to Kim's, but you refused to go in. You said you didn't feel like witnessing all of their 'magical imprint love' when you had just been rejected."

"Oh god," I groaned. I just wanted the floor to swallow me up. I pulled the duvet over my head again. I scolded myself for noticing that it smelled like Paul. I loved his smell. There was nothing else like it in the world.

"You threw quite the temper tantrum," he actually grinned at me, "I had forgotten how stubborn you could be."

"I'm not stubborn!"

"We'll agree to disagree." It was almost like old times. The easy banter seemed to flow between us. I had missed him so damned much. But he wasn't mine to miss. My eyes focused in on Lisa's perfume bottle again. She slept in the bed I was lying in on a regular basis. She pressed her lips against Paul's. She was marrying him. Not me.

"Why did you bring me back here Paul?"

"I told you. You-" He was frowning. I always seemed to be the one to upset him. It wasn't fair.

"No," I shook my head, "It doesn't matter what I said to you. You shouldn't have brought me back here. I shouldn't be sleeping in your bed." It hurt too much, "You should have left me on the fucking sidewalk crying my eyes out. I'm not yours to save anymore."

"I was just trying to be nice."

"You've been anything but nice to me since I arrived. What's changed?"

"You looked so crushed last night after that asshole left you alone," he sat down on the edge of the bed, "I've basically fucked up your whole live. I made you leave town. I made you and your sister lost contact."

"Don't give yourself all of the credit," I avoided his eyes, "I probably would have fucked it up myself eventually."

"Probably." We both laughed. At least he was honest. I really had missed him.

"Everything used to be so simple," I looked around his room once again, "Why did we have to grow up? I liked my simple little life."

"Me too," Paul sighed, "Sunday lunch at Emily's, Wednesday's at my Mum's."

"Friday bonfires," I chipped in.

"Wednesday movie nights."

"You making cakes with my Mum while I was on patrol."

"You sneaking in through my bedroom window."

"You making that high squeaky sound when I kissed you here." Paul placed his fingertip on the base on my neck. I stiffened and then shuffled backwards. He had gone too far. He always did. It was why we could never be friends. There was too much buried beneath the surface of our relationship, too much that we chose to ignore because it would hurt too much if we remembered it.

"Stop," I whispered. Scrambling out of the bed, I pulled Paul's hoodie down to cover my legs. I felt unusually exposed with his eyes on me.

"Alex will be looking for me."

I picked up my shoes from beside the door and caught a glimpse of my tangled hair in the mirror. I was a mess. Nothing unusual.

"And Lisa could be back any minute."

"She's got a hair appointment or something," Paul was still sitting on the bed. He looked tired, and confused. Just like I felt. We were destroying each other, just as we always did. It wasn't healthy.

"Sometimes I despise imprinting." His voice was barely a whisper. At first, I was sure I had imagined his words.

"You don't mean that." He couldn't mean it. He had no choice. Neither of them did. Imprinting was magic. I had seen it work time and time again. Sam and Emily. Kim and Jared. Claire and Quil. Imprinting may hurt people along the way, but it always worked out in the end. Always. I though of baby Keira and Kim's grinning face whenever Jared got home. I thought of the way Sam held Emily close to him and how she could calm him down with a look. As much as I hated to admit it, imprinting always worked out in the end. It was a beautiful thing. Even I couldn't deny that.

"You don't mean that," I repeated. He was lying.

"I wish I didn't. It would be so much easier if I didn't mean it." I was frozen in the doorway. I had to leave before he said anything else. He was going to end up hurting me again, not him.

"In the beginning, when Lisa was sick, all I could focus on was making sure that she got better. At first, I thought I was doing it for her but then I realised, the stronger she got, the happier you were. When she smiled, you smiled. But when she got better, it got harder. You weren't around as much because Lisa wanted alone time. And when I told her about imprinting, she couldn't handle it," his eyes seemed to be burning holes in my skin, "You took everything in your stride. You always put others first. I loved everything about you. Not Lisa."

"We are not doing this again," I threw my hands up in the air, "We're just going round and round in circles. This is not-"

"Please just shut the up," I was shocked into silence, "You're not _listening_ to me. _None_ of this is normal. I've been in Jared's mind, this isn't what imprinting is supposed to feel like. This is all wrong."

"You love her." My voice was croaky. I felt like I hadn't slept in days.

"I do," he nodded, "But not the same way I loved you."

"Please," It hurt to speak, tears clouded my vision, "Please stop talking. You know none of this matters. You're hurting me." I pressed my hand against my heart to emphasise my point. Every part of my body ached.

"It does matter!" Paul stood up and grabbed my arm, "_You_ matter. All the years that you were gone, I would think about you. I knew where you lived, I know you write those books."

I gasped. How? He couldn't know.

"Nobody knows that except Alex."

"I kept tabs on you. I needed to know that you were safe, that you were happy."

"You stalked me?"

"If you want to see it like that," his grip on my arm loosened, "then yeah, I guess I did."

"I was happy," I closed my eyes, treasuring the feel of his hand on my arm, "I shouldn't have come back here."

"Lisa is happy," I continued, "You make her happy. I can't come between that." Despite how much I might have wanted to.

"_You_ make me happy." Those words would haunt me for the rest of my life, "Do our feelings not matter in this equation?"

"So does Lisa," I smiled sadly at him, "And that's not something I can live with. This needs to stop once and for all, if I have any chance of reconnecting with the people I love." Paul flinched, realising I was excluding him from the category. It was necessary if we were both going to live our lives.

"I'm going to come to your wedding, and then I am going to go back home to Los Angeles with Alex."

"The same Alex who Embry imprinted on?" I wanted to punch him in that moment. All of the air left my lungs. He was right, if she left Embry, she would be miserable despite how much she would try to hide it from me.

"Well," I forced the words from my mouth, "I'll go home alone."

"Your _home_ is here."

"No," I shook my head, "This is my past."

The ringing of my phone broke the heavy silence that lingered in the air. I lunged for phone before Paul could stop me. I couldn't stay in the bubble of his room for much longer or we would do something that we would both regret. He was obviously having pre-wedding nerves.

"Where the fuck are you?" Alex's voice screamed in my ear, she sounded on edge. I could hear Emrby's voice in the background. Paul narrowed his eyes.

"I-"

"Did you go home with that guy?" Paul's eyes narrowed even further, "Did he hurt you? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I lied, "I went home with the guy from the bar. I had a good time, you shouldn't worry so much." Alex would have been able to hear the obvious lie in my voice, yet she didn't question it. Paul looked concerned. I didn't want his fucking concern.

"Where are you? I'll come and get you."

"No," Paul's voice was hot in my ear, "We still have stuff to talk about. We need to talk about-"

"Who was that?" Alex missed nothing. I shuffled away from Paul. I couldn't look at him, or I would crumble.

"It was nobody," I ran a hand through my knotted hair, "Come and get me at the Diner in five minutes. I feel like some chocolate chip pancakes." I really felt like vomiting in the nearest bin and then running far, far away but I needed to do something normal. I needed Alex.

"Okay. Are you sure you're alright?"

My eyes locked on Paul's. My heart clenched in my chest.

"I don't know," I laughed, a bitter laugh, "Am I ever alright?"

"Hold it together," Alex's voice was fast, "I'll see you in five. Tell Paul to leave you the hell alone or I will personally cut his balls off."

Of course she would know where I was. Sometimes, I thought Alex knew me better than I knew myself.

"I read every single one of your books," Paul's voice made me stop in my tracks. I took a shaky breath but refused to turn around and face him. Paul hated reading, he couldn't sit still for more than five seconds. All I wanted to do was turn around and throw myself into his arms. Instead, I dug the knife deeper into my chest and didn't look back as I left the room. It was time for me to live for me.

_Thoughts? _


	15. Results

_I know, I know, it's been entirely too long since I updated. Uni work has literally taken over my life. Hope you can forgive me. Here's the newest chapter. Enjoy.._

"You can't leave me alone with him."

"I'm not. I-"

"He's driving me crazy. Ever since I accidentally dribbled on him when I fell asleep on the couch, he's become even more obsessed."

"Alex, I-"

"I mean, he wants me to jump off a cliff. A big ass cliff. Into the sea. That sounds more suicidal than fun. People here are strange."

"Lot's of people actually do it. It's called-"

"Kim is excited about it. Excited! She's told Jared that he's on Keira watching duty so that she can jump. I'm beginning to reassess my friendship with her."

Sighing, I stayed quiet, knowing that she wasn't finished. It was a rare, sunny day in La Push and everyone was smiling while I wanted to hide in a dark room and never come out..

"I mean, what am I supposed to wear? What if my bikini top falls off when I jump? I've never had this problem before. The sea is for gorgeous yachts, not for me to jump into." Alex was still talking, I was surprised she had any breath left. We had been on the phone since I had left Kim's house, which had been twenty minutes before. And before that, we had spoken over my morning coffee, she had even stood outside of the bathroom while I showered. She never seemed to run out of words to say. And secretly, I think she was just waiting for me to crack. Truthfully, I was waiting for that to happen too.

"You're still coming, right?" I had already answered that question four times. Someone beeped their horn at me as I stepped out onto the road. Alex was distracting me.

"Yes, I'm still coming." I sounded tired. My reflection in the nearby shop window solidified how tired I really was. I had been awake all night attempting to decide what to do with the rest of my life. I hadn't come up with any answers; and Alex's snoring hadn't helped matters. I couldn't stay in La Push; it hurt too much, but I couldn't bare the thought of losing Kim again. Of losing Embry and Seth and Emily. And Alex. That was the hardest truth to swallow. I knew she would attempt to fight the imprint but it would destroy her, I couldn't watch her slowly dwindle away to nothing.

"Are _you_ going to jump?"

"Yes," I smiled suddenly remembering the first time that Paul had taken me cliff diving. I had screamed – a wild, laughing scream – on the way down. It had been raining, not sunny. We had lain on the beach afterwards, laughing, until it had gotten dark. We had been friends then, just friends. I tried to push the thought from my head.

"This place is going to your head," Alex muttered. I heard Kim's laughter in the background.

"She was always crazy," Jared shouted, joining in with Kim's laughter. My smile grew. It was so easy for me to be around Jared and Kim. They never judged me. I had missed them more than I had realised. They made me feel involved, it was a feeling that I had forgotten. In some crazy, messed up way they were as much a part of my family as Lisa was, as Alex was.

"You were the one wearing a 'farmers' shirt this morning and opting for breakfast instead of doing your make-up." Sue Clearwater nodded at me as I walked past. She was smiling, everyone was smiling, something was in the air.

"Checked shirts are in now," Alex fired back, "I wouldn't expect you to know that." She always had an answer at the ready, it was impressive.

"I'll see you soon."

"Soon? How soon?" Alex whined as if she couldn't last a second without me. I could almost picture her sitting on the kitchen counter frowning as she swung her legs. Embry would be sitting oppposite her at the kitchen table watching her every movement. I smiled at the thought. They were entirely too cute and they didn't even realise it.

"I just have to pick up some paperwork at the Doctor's for June. I'll meet you at the cliffs. Soon."

"As long as you get there before it starts to rain, I don't trust this weather."

"I never thought I'd hear an LA girl say she didn't trust the sun."

"Well, I never expected to be in a tiny place called La Push of my own free will. People change." Alex was in a strangely, optimistic mood. Embry was good for her, a perfect match. The thought caused an ache in my chest.

"Yeah, they do," My thoughts drifted to Paul and Lisa, "Sometimes not for the best." I didn't give Alex the chance to answer. Instead, I hit the end button. She could shout at me later.

My converse squeaked loudly on the tile flooring inside the Doctor's reception. My eyes scanned the waiting room. My heart seemed to clench as I spotted Lisa attempting to appear as small as possible in the corner of the room. Our eyes met at the exactly the same moment. She looked like she wanted to stand up and run away.

"Lisa?"

"Oh hey," she smiled, actually smiled, that's when I knew something was wrong. I couldn't remember the last time that she had voluntarily smiled at me.

"What are you doing here?" My eyes instantly flickered over her body for any obvious signs of injury. I breathed a sigh of relief when I couldn't see anything obvious, but my smile wavered when her smile finally dropped. Her eyes became suddenly glassy. Something was very wrong. My stomach was in knots.

"Lisa?" I repeated, sitting down beside her, "Why are you here? What's wrong? Is it June? Is it Mum? Is it-"

"I found a lump," she interrupted me.

My whole world seemed to still around me. All of the noise in the waiting room disappeared; all I could focus on was the fear in Lisa's eyes. Not again; that was my only thought. Not again.

My thoughts immediately drifted back to the first time she had been sick. I remembered the sweat that had clung to her skin and seemed to make her glisten in an unnatural way. I remembered the sound of her sobs as she lay beside the toilet in the bathroom. I remembered how weak her hand had felt in mine after her treatment.

However, the look I remembered the most was when the doctor had told her that they had gotten rid of the cancer. I remembered the new light that gad appeared in her eyes and the happy tears that had stained her cheeks without her even realising. That was how I liked to remember Lisa.

"A lump?" I managed to croak out, "W-when?"

I had taken her hand in mine without conscious thought. Surprisingly, she didn't push me away. Instead, she gripped my hand tightly, as if I was her only lifeline.

"A-A couple of weeks ago," her voice cracked, "They took a sample to get tested, I'm here for the results."

A couple of weeks ago? A couple of fucking weeks ago? She had known for weeks and not told me.

"Where's Paul?" Why wasn't he with her? I was going to kill him. I was going to steal a meat knife from Kim's kitchen and kill him in his sleep. Or better yet, I would run him over with Jared's truck, repeatedly.

"I didn't tell him," Lisa shrugged, looking anywhere but me, "I don't want to ruin the wedding. I _need_ us to get married. And everything with June...I didn't want him to worry. I liked that he needed me for a change." The desperation in her voice made me want to scream. She had been dealing with everything all alone. I should have been with her to hold her hand when she had been tested. I should have ordered us pizza and held her when she cried, not lying in her fiancées bed contemplating what it would be like to kiss him. I was an awful twin; too wrapped up in my own pathetic, little life to realise what was going on right in front of my eyes.

"He should be here with you," I murmured. He was her imprint.

"Despite everything-" she took a shaky breath, "I'm glad it's you that is with me. You were always so strong the last time. I couldn't have gotten through it without you."

Strong was definitely not a word I would have used to describe myself. What Lisa didn't know was that after I visited her in the hospital, I would make my way to First Beach and sob into Paul's shirt. He had been the strong one, the one who had shown me how to hide my weaknesses infront of Lisa. By the time Paul had met Lisa, she had been in remission. He didn't know what it was like to watch the person you love most in the world dwindle into almost nothing. I couldn't watch that again. I couldn't.

"You're going to be fine," I said instead, "Everything is going to fine."

The receptionist called out her name. It was only then that I registered everyone else in the waiting room. The noise began to build again.

"Please wait here for me," Lisa's hand still gripped mine. She was terrified. I tried to smile at her, but I failed.

"Of course."

"I'm sorry for everything," she spoke quietly, "I just love him so much. I know he loved you once, but I'm selfish enough not to care. I need him. You'll find someone else one day, I know it."

I watched in a state of shock as she walked away. I knew it was obvious to everyone how much I adored Paul, but I had tried my utmost to hide it from my sister, especially in the beginning. Even as she was facing the fact that she may be terminally ill again, the one thing she was worried about was me stealing her fiancée from her. It had to stop. My obsession with Paul had gone too far, I had to get over him once and for all.

If my sister was ill again, I would move back to La Push, however much it pained me to do it. I would smile in their wedding pictures and help Paul look after her when it got too much for him. I would not look him in the eyes again, I would avoid all physical contact. I would find a nice man with a nice house and a nice job and I would marry him. I was a sell-out author, I had a best friend that others would die for. My life was great. I had to stop whining about past mistakes and move on. That was what my trip to La Push was supposed to be about, but instead I had gotten caught up in the moment. It was hard to have rational thoughts when Paul set his burning eyes on me. It was hard, but I would manage it. Lisa was family, we were bonded my blood.

My Mum would be so happy if I stayed around so I could go for dinner every weekend. My kids would grow up running down First Beach. I would be close to Alex, and Kim, and everyone that I loved. Every breath I took would hurt like hell, but it would be worth it. Sometimes we have to sacrifice the things we love in life for the good of others. Besides, I wasn't really sacrificing anything since he wasn't even mine to sacrifice. I had to stop talking about him like he belonged to me. He never had, it had probably all been in my imagination. I tend to get attached to things, I-

"Lils?"

My head snapped up. I tried to remember how to breath. Lisa was walking slowly towards me, her face was pale and streaked in tears. I felt the sudden urge to throw up. Oh god no. Not again.

"Lisa?" She sunk into the seat beside me. I grabbed her hand as I waited for to speak. I wouldn't cry, I would be strong, for her. I had to be.

"I-it's clear," she croaked, "The lump is benign. I don't have cancer. I-"

I didn't give her time to finish. Instead, I threw my arms around her neck. She clung onto my shirt. I finally remembered how to breath again. She was fine. She was going to grow old and have gorgeous babies and live her life.

"Thank god," I whispered, "Thank you god."

"I-I was so scared."

"I know."

"Thank you for being here," she pulled back a little from our hug, "Things like this put life into perspective. I have missed you so damn much. I don't care that you loved Paul," I winced, "You're my sister. I know you wouldn't dare to go near him now that we're engaged," I lowered my gaze, "I've been such a bitch. I trust you not to do anything stupid. Please be a bridesmaid?" Her eyes were glistening again, but it wasn't in fear; I saw a hope in them that I had begun to think didn't exist.

"Of course," I forced the words out, "Of course I'll be a bridesmaid." I was going to have to stand beside my sister while she declared her love for the one man who had managed to capture my heart. Shaking my head, I reminded myself that didn't matter any longer. All that mattered was family, and that's was Lisa was. My family.

She let out an exaggerated squeal of excitement as she pulled me back into our hug. I tried to keep smiling for her sake.

"We have so much to sort out," she grinned as she stood up, "We need to get you measured for a dress, change the seating arrangements. Oh...and find you a handsome date."

I just stared at her. I had become accustomed to the icy glares and short sentences where Lisa was concerned. It was going to take a while to fall back into our old routine. I had lived without a sister for so long, it was overwhelming to finally have her back. I just had to concentrate on not trying to pounce on her future husband.

"But for now," her grin grew even wider, "Let's go cliff diving!"

When we pulled up to the cliffs, everyone's eyes automatically turned towards us. Alex glanced between Lisa and I in confusion. Seth's mouth was wide open and Paul looked like he wanted to run away and hide. The forced smile that I had painted on my face the entire car journey drooped a little. I wasn't sure what my role was any longer.

"Lisa?" Embry was the first to speak, "Lily? What have you been up to?"

"Oh, you know," Lisa linked her arm with mine, "Just shopping." It was disconcerting how easily she found it to lie. I tried to ignore Paul, but his eyes were narrowed in my direction.

"You were shopping?" He spoke up, "Together?"

"Yeah," Lisa shrugged like it was no big deal, "We worked through our issues. It's been in the making for a while actually." I avoided Alex's gaze when she tried to catch my eye. She looked wounded as she moved closer to Embry's side. She definitely knew something was off. My stomach clenched. I couldn't lie to Alex. No way in hell.

"Well, that's good?" Seth spoke up seeing that nobody else seemed to be able to process what was going on in front of them. Lisa finally let go of my arm and made her way over to sit beside Paul. I averted my gaze as he automatically lifted up his arm and she snuggled into his side.

"Very good," Lisa nodded, "She's going to be a bridesmaid at the wedding."

I felt suddenly suffocated. I understood how a fish must feel when everyone is staring into their fishbowl. I was petrified that if people continued to watch me, I would breakdown. Of course I was happy that Lisa was back in my life, but it was going to drastically change the dynamics in our wolfy family. Kim started to make her way over to me, and I panicked. I couldn't lie and say I was happy about being a bridesmaid. I couldn't lie about where I had been all afternoon.

"Seth?" I reached out to grab his arm, "Let's jump?"

I didn't think as I unbuttoned my shirt exposing my bikini. Colin let out a whistle and I blushed a furious red.

"Come on Seth," I muttered under my breath, aware that everyone was watching me.

"Don't you think you should start from one of the lower cliffs?" All the hairs on my arms stood up as Paul spoke out, "You know, since you haven't done it in a while."

"Thanks for the concern," I looked anywhere but Paul as I spoke, "But, I have done this a thousand times. I'll be fine."

"I was only looking out for you. I-"

"Well don't," I snapped as Seth grabbed onto my hand. I walked quickly towards the cliff edge.

"Have fun!" Lisa smiled while Alex rolled her eyes. It was all just too much.

"Let's do this." I let out a scream as Seth and I jumped off of the ledge. For a moment, just a moment, I forgot all the worries I had. Instead, I remembered a simpler time when a different wolf had been jumping alongside me. So much for forgetting him.

_Thoughts? _


	16. Resentment

Pretending to be happy was exhausting.

Of course I was happy that Lisa was back in my life. Of course I was overjoyed that I could walk into my childhood home without the fear of wondering when Lisa would walk in the door. I loved the sudden spring that my Mom seemed to have in her step, and consequently the amount of baking she did as a result of her happiness.

Alex and I literally jumped for joy when June was released from the hospital. It felt amazing to have a family again. I had almost forgotten what it felt like. Everything was going to plan, my life was finally back on track.

I had so many things to be grateful for, so many memories to make and friendships to rekindle, but at times my feet would drag and I would find myself staring out into the rain for longer than necessary. I would find Alex watching me carefully when Lisa bounded into the room with Paul hot on her heels; I would avoid his gaze. It was if I had become a robot; my body would elicit the appropriate answers to questions, and laugh on que, but inside my heart continued to clench so painfully tight that I was scared that I would forget how to breathe.

"How does it look?"

It was one of those so called heart tightening moments. I really didn't want to follow the sound of Lisa's voice, but I could feel my Mom's eyes on the back of my head and Kim's light touch on my shoulder. I had to be strong for everyone else, I couldn't isolate myself again. Keeping my face neutral I finally glanced up.

Lisa looked stunning.

Mom's dress fitted her like a glove. Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes as my eyes drank in the delicate materiel, the lace arms, her tiny waist and the stilettos that peeked out at the bottom. When I was younger I had gazed at my Mom's wedding photograph on the wall and imagined myself in her dress, as I had gotten older those fantasies had morphed so that Paul was standing beside me at the alter.

Closing my eyes, I took a calming breath.

"Do you not like it?" Lisa's voice was frantic, "Do you think I look hideous?"

"N-no," I forced myself to open my eyes, "You look beautiful. P-Paul will be speechless." Kim's hand tightened on my shoulder as if she needed something to hold onto. I swallowed a sob as Lisa giggled and spun around. She looked so carefree, and light; a far cry from the scared girl I had sat beside in the doctor's waiting room. She deserved to be happy. She had been through more than anyone I knew, and she could still smile.

"I can't believe my little girl is getting married in three days." Mom was crying. I couldn't remember the last time my Mom had been so happy. She had never looked at me the way she was looking at Lisa in that moment. At times, I wondered if I had disappointed her. I was supposed to be the first one to walk down the aisle. Before everything, Lisa had been the party girl, the most unlikely person to settle down, but Paul had changed everything.

"I'm going to be Mrs Meraz," Lisa's voice was quiet and full of wonder. I found myself leaning against Kim as if I couldn't quite keep myself upright. Everything was happening so fast.

Three days.

Three fucking days.

"I-I need air."

Everyone turned to look at me as I pulled on my sweater and suddenly found the wall a lot more interesting than Lisa'a dress. I had tried on my bridesmaid dress, I had drank the glasses of champagne that were offered to me. I had been to the bakery and made sure the cake was on track, I had phoned the caterers when Lisa was panicking. I had done everything that was asked of me, but at that moment I just needed air. I needed to remember how to breathe again.

"I'll come with you."

"No. You have fun. I'll-"

Kim interrupted my ramblings with a single glare. Alex and her hadn't given me a single moment of peace since my sister and I had rekindled our friendship; they were still waiting on me to crack.

Without another word I turned towards the door and walked out. I was being over dramatic, and cruel but I just didn't have the energy to care. I was just so damn tired.

"We'll meet you at the restaurant later," Kim was calling as she pulled on her coat and followed me out of the door. I let out a dry laugh as I rounded the corner and spotted Alex and Embry sitting on a bench. They really couldn't just give me a second to myself.

Turning sharply, I crossed the road.

"Lils! Lils. Wait up, _please_?"

I kept walking, concentrating on the sound of my footsteps. I didn't want to break down, I definitely didn't want to make a scene in the middle of Port Angeles. Quickening my pace I ignored the shouts behind me and kept my head down.

"Lils."

Of course Jared was part of the intervention team too. I didn't have time to protest before he crushed me to his chest. I attempted to push him away, I punched and kicked and scratched but he still refused to let go. It was unfair. I loved them all so much, I never wanted to leave. Why the hell had Lisa stolen my family?

"It's all going to be alright," Jared's voice was unusually soft as he continued to hold me in his arms. I could hear the murmurs of passer-bys as they watched my little display. Eventually, I relaxed against Jared, using his chest to shield my tears from the world. The whole world continued to move around me, but I felt stuck. I had been stuck ever since Paul had laid eyes on my sister.

"It's all going to be alright," Jared repeated as if forcing himself to believe the mantra too.

"How?" My voice was muffled, "I can't even get over a relationship I had over four fucking years ago. My whole life is at a standstill and it's no ones fault but mine. I should have moved on years ago."

"Pff. Your fault. It's all his fault. The stupid, giant, smelly ass that-"

"Alex," Kim hissed, "Now is not the time for Paul bashing."

"Now is exactly the time for Paul bashing. The idiotic -"

"No." I was surprised when Embry's solid voice sliced easily through Alex's, "This whole situation is a mess. You never saw them together Alex, you never saw the way he looked at her, you never saw the way he adjusted the way he was sitting just so he could keep an eye on her-"

"Please," I clutched tighter onto Jared, "_Please_ just shut up."

"Embry's right," Kim's hand was suddenly smoothing down my hair, "Yes, in a normal relationship you would be over it by now, but nothing about you and Paul was ever normal. Nothing about any of this makes sense."

"Why wasn't it me?" My tears had finally dried up, and blinding anger was taking over. I never got angry; that was Alex's role in our friendship. I always kept a calm head, but Paul Meraz brought out the worst in me.

"I should be wearing that dress," my voice lowered to a whisper, "She knew I wanted to wear that dress when I got married. She always said it was ugly-" my voice broke, and Alex reached out to squeeze my hand tightly.

"I loved that dress so damn much."

"It just a dress-"

"Shut your mouth Embry," Alex snapped as she finally managed to pull me away from Jared.

"When you get married, we'll find you the most beautiful dress in the whole world. I will make it my mission," Kim's voice was fierce.

"_If_ I get married."

"When," Alex corrected. I don't think she even notcied that she was latching onto Embry's hand for support, "Paul is not your whole world. You are going to stop moping, because you have a pretty good life. Just look at all the people looking out for you. We love you."

"Paul is just one guy," Kim pulled me down to sit beside her on the sidewalk, "In fact, he's one pretty lousy guy." Immediately, I wanted to protest, and say that he was the most wonderful, kind man I had ever met, but somehow I didn't think that was the response they were all looking for.

"She's right."

My head snapped up at the new voice. Every other sound seemed to cease. It was as if I could suddenly breathe easier again. It was as if my body could never be fully relaxed unless he was around.

"Man. What the hell do you think you're doing here?"

"I just saw you across the street, and Lily was crying and-"

"That's not your problem anymore," Alex's voice was icy and she stepped forward and attempted to push him away. It was actually pretty comical; she had absolutely no chance in hell of moving Paul's massive frame.

"It will always be my problem," he growled, his eyes looking intently down at me.

Paul was my problem as much as I was his. He would be a complete jerk to me. He would ignore me at my Mom's dinner parties, he wouldn't hold the door open for me when we were with Lisa. However, when we were alone it was as if he couldn't keep his eyes off me, we would joke, and I would laugh. It felt so good to laugh. He reminded me of the real me, not the pathetic, washed up girl who nobody even took a second look at; except him.

To me, we had never just been a high school relationship. It had never been just a fling with Paul. He had been my everything for such a long time, that it took me years to remember how to function without him by my side. At times, even when he was with Lisa, it felt like we were each half of the same whole.

"Can we talk?"

I knew that I should say no. I knew that I should wipe my tears, walk away and never look back. However, I also knew that if I agreed, it would probably be the last time I spoke to him alone before he got married. It would be the last time that he could change his mind. I hated myself for even thinking those things, but I was tired of being the nice one, the one that just let everything slide. Paul had been a big part of my life, and I couldn't give him up without a fight.

"No. No way in hell Paul Meraz-"

"Only when pigs fly and -"

"Man. I don't think that's such a great idea-"

Everyone was talking so loudly, and it made it hard to think. However, Paul wasn't listening to any of them, Paul wasn't looking at them. His eyes were still solely on me, and I found myself caving as I evaluated his sad eyes. He needed me, just as much as I needed him.

"Okay," I nodded taking a tiny step forwards, "You have one hour."

_Thoughts? _

_I know it's all a bit depressing at the moment, but i promise you that things will get better...eventually. And I promise to update soon. _


	17. Rekindling

**Authors Note:**_ I know I haven't updated in far too long, but life just has a way of getting in the way. I have been extremely busy with uni, and placements. Good news is I only have a year left, and then I'll be a teacher. Woop! Anyway, please forgive my lack of updates. I have finished uni for the summer, and hopefully I will now be able to concentrate on my stories. Now, enjoy..._

Paul's strides matched mine as we walked. I could feel Alex's eyes burning a hole in my back. She was mad at me, and I didn't blame her. I didn't know what I was doing. I should have turned around and never looked back. I should be back in the bridal shop with my sister drinking champagne and laughing.

"It's so hard to get any damn privacy around here," Paul muttered under his breath.

Ignoring him I continued to walk forwards ignoring the pounding of my heart. He was so close that I could reach out and touch his hand if I wanted. I could remember the warmth of his skin, and how safe I had once felt in his arms. He was so close that every time I took a breathe I inhaled his familiar musky scent. I remembered waking up to that smell in the morning as he held me tightly against him. Swallowing loudly I forced back the memories as I remembered Lisa standing in her wedding dress only moments earlier.

Paul and Lisa were getting married in three days. _Three days_. Without noticing, I picked up the pace, until I was almost jogging. I needed to put as much distance between myself and Lisa as humanly possible.

Paul was watching my every movement.

"Are you going to talk to me?"

"What is there to say?"

My feet had taken me to the pier without conscious thought – it was Paul's favourite spot in Port Angeles. I was surprised that I still remembered the way. Sighing, I glanced around at all of the tourists running in out of the rain. Continuing forward I walked to the end of the pier towards the bench, our bench. It was only when I was sitting down that I turned to look at Paul.

He looked tired. For once he was wearing a shirt; the rain was making it stick to his body. I could almost see the thoughts ticking over in his brain. I wasn't used to him being so serious, Lisa had made him that way. When we had been friends, he would have spoken without thought, he would have decided things in an instant. He had been reckless, he hadn't thought of the consequences of his actions. But I had loved him for it. I had loved our spontaneous nights laughing for hours on the beach, and the treacherous hikes that he had taken me on 'just for the view.' He had been my favourite person in the entire world.

I closed my eyes wrapping my arms tightly around me. It hurt too much to think of the past.

I should never have agreed to be alone with him. Unwanted memories were creeping up on me like long lost friends.

"Are you cold?"

I shuffled away from him as he moved closer. I couldn't let him touch me. I couldn't let myself believe that something could happen between us. It had been selfish of me to even agree to talk to him.

"We need to stop this Paul."

"Stop what?"

"Everything. You can't be nice to me. You can't watch me all the time, and try to speak to me on my own. I'm not my sister."

Around us the wind howled, and the rain fell heavier than before. Alex was going to kill me when I arrived at the restaurant absolutely soaked to the bone.

Beside me, Paul was trembling.

"You get angry when I'm nice to you. You get angry when I ignore you?" His eyes were blazing, "What the fuck do you want from me Lils? Please enlighten me."

It had been a while since I'd seen Paul so fired up, so angry. He was more like the Paul I had known, the Paul that I had loved, rather than the lap dog that Lisa appeared to have trained him to be.

I laughed. A hollow laugh.

"I want you to marry my sister. I want you to treat me like a sister-in-law. I don't want you to worry about me, or fight my battles for me. I shouldn't mean anything to you."

"Don't lie to me," Paul's voice was harsh. I studiously avoided his gaze as I looked out to the waves.

"I'm not." My voice felt flat even to my own ears.

"Yes you are!" I flinched at the change in Paul's tone. I tired to stand up but he grabbed my arm. That was going to leave a bruise.

"Let me go," I spoke through gritted teeth, still avoiding his eyes. I didn't want to see how much he still cared for me. I didn't want him to tell me everything would be okay. It was never going to be okay again. My life was royally fucked up.

"I could always tell when you were lying," Paul had softened his voice, his fingers dug into my skin, "Always. Don't lie to me Lils. I know you don't want me to marry Lisa. I know you don't want me to leave you alone. So don't lie to me."

"Look at me. Look me at me god damn it." He grabbed my face roughly between his hands as he forced me to look into his eyes. They were shiny, as if he was forcing back tears. They were dark with fear, and another emotion that I couldn't read. I didn't understand his need to still be near me, I didn't understand anything.

"W-what do you want me to say Paul?" I sobbed, "Do you want me to tell you that the thought of you standing beside my sister at the alter makes my heart hurt so much that I think it might break in two? Do you want me to tell you that every time I see you it takes everything in me not to run into your arms and hide from the world? Do you want me to tell you that I never got over you, even when I didn't see you in four years? Is that what you want Paul?" I was screaming in his face, "Do you want me to tell you that I still dream of you every single night?"

"I wish I had never taken you to that hospital," I whispered, "I wish you had never met her. I wish we had ran far, far away when we had the chance. I wish I could be your wife. I wish I could have your children."

"But that's never going to happen, so would you please, _please _leave me alone and let me get on with my life? I can't be the pathetic girl lusting after her sister's husband. I can't. I _won't_." Furious with myself I hastily wiped tears from my face. I had to be strong.

I tried to untangle myself from Paul's tight grasp, but instead of letting me go, he wound his arms around my back and pulled me tighter against his chest as if he could bare to let me go. I let out another strangled sob. Nothing ever worked out for me.

"Please Paul. You have to let me go," I sobbed, "We both need to get on with our lives."

"I can't." His grip on me tightened. I could barely breathe.

"Paul, you're hurting me."

"Why did you not tell me any of this before?" His grip on me loosened a little as he glanced down at my puffy, tear soaked face. His eyes were as stormy as the night surrounding us, but in Paul's arms I felt safe. I felt like I was home.

"None of it matters. My sister is trying on her wedding dress just now Paul. You are getting married in three days."

"I know. _I know!_" He finally let go of me, his eyes narrowing as he noticed the bruises he had created on my arms. I watched as he paced up and down the pier, his movements jerky and clumsy.

"I should be excited. I should be planning our next steps together, I should be begging her to stay in my bed every night," I flinched, "But I'm not. I adore her, of course. But it's you that I crave, _you_ I think about when I'm on patrol. This isn't what an imprint is supposed to be like. Something is wrong."

"It's always been you," he stopped pacing, his eyes fiery as he turned to look at me once again. I sat curled up on the bench shivering. I was so damn cold.

"You're fighting the imprint. It's probably just nerves," my teeth chattered as I tried to force the words out, "You'll be fine. Go home to her tonight and you'll remember everything you love about her. Stop fighting the imprint."

"You're not listening to me!" Paul roared, his whole body shaking, "Why will nobody listen to me? None of this is normal. I'm _not_ fighting the imprint."

"Maybe you don't think you are-"

Paul cut me of as he walked rapidly towards me and pressed his lips against mine. At first I was too shocked to react, but as he pulled me tighter into his arms I felt my lips move in response. Kissing Paul was as familiar to me as breathing. My heart burst in my chest, and I couldn't seem to stop myself as I wound my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss as Paul lifted me into his arms, my legs were locked around his waist. The rain continued to fall around us and we both moaned as his tongue probed at the entrance to my lips.

Paul was like my own personal drug. I couldn't get enough. I wanted more. I had been deprived of his taste for much too long.

It was only when Paul's hands crept underneath my soaked shirt that reality seemed to punch me square in the face.

I pushed desperately against Paul's chest, but he wouldn't move.

"No. _No!_" I pushed more forcefully, "Stop. Stop. We can't so this. Think about Lisa."

Paul dropped me as if he had been burned. Tears blurred my vision as I stumbled backwards. I had just kissed my sister's fiancée. I had just betrayed her trust, I had betrayed everyone. The pack was going to hate me.

"What did we just do?" My voice sounded empty, unfeeling.

"Tell me you didn't feel anything?" Paul was advancing towards me, "Tell me you didn't feel anything and I'll leave you alone for good."

I continued to back away. I hissed as the wood from the bench scraped the back of my legs.

"It doesn't matter. We need to forget this ever happened. I need to go. I-"

"I felt something. I wanted to take you home, I wanted to devour every inch of your beautiful body. I need you. I-"

"Shut up, shut up, shut _up_!" I pressed my hands over my ears, "Have you been drinking? This is just last minute nerves. I didn't feel anything" I was lying through my teeth. It had been like coming home. It had made me ecstatic and terrified in the same breathe. I had missed him more than I had ever realised. It was unhealthy

"Something is wrong; that's what I'm trying to tell you." Paul looked lost as he sat on our bench, his eyes desperately seeking mine.

He shouldn't want to kiss me. He shouldn't want to be around me. He should have been plagued with guilt, and thinking of Lisa every second.

"I need to go."

I didn't stop to think as I turned and ran. I ran faster than I had ever ran before. I needed to put as much distance between myself and Paul Meraz as possible before I did something else that I would regret.

"Lily," he called after me, "Lily, _please_ don't go!"

I couldn't look back. If I did, my resolve would have crumbled.

I felt like I was ripping myself in two as I continued to run. My whole body felt exhausted. I was drained completely of energy. Paul had a control over me that I couldn't even begin to explain.

I needed Alex.

I don't know how far I ran before I collapsed against a nearby wall, my breathing heavy. Everything was so messed up. How was I supposed to paint a smile on my face, and watch as my sister walked down the aisle towards a man that I still loved? I need to go to Kim's and pack up my stuff before anyone else got home. I had to go back LA. I needed to run, that was the only thing I did best.

"So strange."

My head snapped up at the unfamiliar voice. Suddenly, I realised how alone I was. I was in an unfamiliar alley in Port Angeles, I could have ran for miles, no one would know where I was.

"You haven't changed a bit."

My throat constricted as the most beautiful woman I had ever seen walked towards me. Her blonde hair framed her pale complexion perfectly. The red dress she wore grazed her knees and she walked with ease in the killer heels that she wore. However, none of those features could hold my attention. It was her eyes – her blood, red eyes – that told me I was in serious trouble.

Vampire.

I opened my mouth to scream.

"I wouldn't bother wasting my breathe," she smiled, showing me her pearly white teeth, as she crouched down beside me.

"You've been crying." I stayed perfectly still as her cold finger wiped a lone tear from my face. I should have stayed with Paul, I should never have run away from him. I was going to die.

I was going to die.

"Who are you?" My voice sounded hoarse. The woman smiled again as she stood up. She didn't seem threatening, but her eyes told me enough. Her eyes were watching my every movement, they lingered on the rise and fall of my chest. My heart raced in my chest.

"My name is Lucy," I flinched away from her as she reached out a hand to me, "I keep forgetting that you won't remember me. We have a lot to talk about."

I let out a scream as she pulled me forcefully to my feet and pushed me into a nearby car.

Lucy only laughed.

_Thoughts? _


	18. Reflex

**Alex's POV**

"Don't even think about it."

Embry continued to stretch out his arms pretending he wasn't about to try and put his arm around me. Ignoring him, I concentrated on reapplying my lipstick.

"You didn't mind last night."

Snapping my compact mirror shut I turned to glare at Embry. His grin was so wide that it was almost too big for his face. I tried not to look into his brown eyes, I always forgot what I was saying when I looked into his eyes.

"You said you would never mention that," I hissed, "The Sound of Music is an intense film."

"You just wanted a hug. Don't have to lie about it." Jared was laughing at us from behind his menu, while Kim just rolled her eyes at our antics.

"Yeah, you seemed pretty cosy when I found you both on the couch this morning," Jared laughed. I recalled waking up tucked into Emrby's side, his arm tight around my waist as if he was afraid I might disappear and never come back.

"I was tired after helping Lily with stupid wedding preparations all day," I muttered, ignoring the looks that Jared and Kim were exchanging, "Besides, he was squashing me, and he stinks. I'll never repeat the experience."

"You're just lying to yourself." I shivered as Embry's voice whispered in my ear. He made my insides feel all liquidy and soft; it wasn't something I was used to and I wasn't sure whether I liked it. I was falling for him, as much as I tried to deny it. He made me feel like the most precious diamond in the world, something to be cherished and handled carefully. He never pushed me, and I always felt safe in his presence.

Not that I would ever give into the imprint. It may have worked for Jared and Kim, but I believed they would have found each other eventually anyway. I had watched imprinting destroy one of my favourite people in the whole world. I had watched Lily closely during our trip to La Push. I had watched the way her eyes followed Paul's every movement, how she punished herself when he was near her, how she barely touched any of her food. She was a shadow of herself, and it was terrifying me. I wanted my best friend back.

"Where is my sister?"

I groaned as I turned to face Lisa. Her eyes were narrowed as she looked between Kim and I. All Lily had done all week was run around after her sister, yet it never seemed to be enough to fulfil Lisa's wishes. Lily was punishing herself enough with Lisa pushing her too. She was getting on my last nerve.

I hated her.

"She had to make a phone call to her office back in LA," Kim smiled tightly, "She said that she would meet us here."

"Typical. Does she know we can only have this table for a limited time? This is one of the most popular restaurants in Port Angeles."

I was going to punch her. In fact, I would rip her hair out and then spill red wine on her wedding dress. The only person she ever thought of was herself.

"Shouldn't you be more worried about where your precious fiancée is?" I snapped. Kim shot me a look, while Emrby reached out to grab my hand before I said something I would regret. I squeezed it tightly letting out all of my frustrations; he didn't even flinch.

"He's on his way." Lisa spoke in an even tone, but I could see the way she clenched her fists and her eyes darted towards the window. She had no clue where he was.

"You'll just have to order for Lily. We can't wait any longer."

"Lasers are going to shoot out of your eyes if you narrow them any further," Embry murmured as I watched Lisa walk to the other end of the table. She leant down and gave her Mom a kiss on the cheek before turning to talk to Emily who held baby Keira in her arms.

Lisa was surrounded by the pack, she threw her head back and laughed at something Quil said. She didn't deserve all the attention. It should have been Lily getting married, we should be having dinner to celebrate her engagement, not Lisa's. It made me so angry.

"I want to kill that girl."

"But then you would get sent to prison for life and I'd never get to see you," Embry pouted.

I untangled my hand from his as I glanced outside. The rain had gotten heavier. I hoped Lily was inside somewhere keeping safe. I didn't trust Paul, but I knew that he would keep Lily safe. He cared about her, that much was obvious, whether he wanted it to be or not. No wonder his fiancée had trust issues.

"They've been gone almost three hours," Kim spoke quietly as she reached to take a sip of her wine. Her hand shook. Jared pulled her tighter into his side.

"She'll be fine. Paul's with her," Jared placed a soft kiss on her cheek. He was distracted, his gaze was locked on his daughter who was now in Lisa's arms.

"That's what I'm worried about," Kim followed my eyes to the window, "She might end up killing him. You know what they two are like. They're both too fiery."

"Or she might do something even more stupid." I closed my eyes. I should never have let her go away with Paul, or one of us should have followed her. It could only end in disaster. He had already hurt enough.

"What could be more stupid that killing him?" Sometimes Embry really was clueless.

"Kiss him, or sleep with him." Embry flinched. The rain continued to batter off the window. The skies were getting dark. Embry sought my hand underneath the table again. I shuffled my chair closer to his.

"She wouldn't do that to her sister." Jared was right. She really would do anything for Lisa. Lily was one of the most selfless people I had ever met.

"Love can make you do crazy things," Kim played with the bracelet around her wrist. She was worried. I was worried. Lily should have phoned us and let us know she was safe. Something was off.

My anxiety continued to grow as the minutes ticked by, and the laughter at the other end of the table grew louder. I picked at my food when it came, barely tasting anything that I put in my mouth. I took a large gulp of my wine. Where the hell was Lily?

We should never have come to La Push. We had a good life in LA. Great friends. Great nights out. As soon as we left the restaurant I was convincing Lily to go home with me. Kim could come and visit whenever she liked, but La Push wasn't good for Lily; it held too many memories.

Embry squeezed my hand again. It was as if he could read my thoughts.

Emrby would never leave La Push; his whole family surrounded him. He loved being a wolf, he loved the freedom and the power that came with it. I saw the way his eyes lit up when he went into his Mom's book shop, and the grin on his face when we walked to First Beach. His love had rubbed off on me too. I never thought I could see anywhere other than LA as home, but Embry had shown me the beauty in the simpler things.

My heartbeat sped up in my chest. Embry looked down at me in concern. Damn wolf hearing.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine." I shoved a piece of pasta into my mouth so he wouldn't ask me anymore questions. I had grown too attached to Embry, my heart was going to rip in two when I left, which I was going to do. Lily was my family, and I was hers. No matter what, family stuck together.

"Paul? Finally!"

My fork clattered to the table as Lisa squealed in delight. Paul walked into the restaurant. His footsteps seemed heavier than normal, his whole body appeared weighed down. Lisa threw her arms around his neck in delight while his eyes immediately sought out our end of the table as if searching for something. Lines appeared on his forehead as he frowned.

Where was Lily?

Kim's eyes met mine. Jared was trembling in his seat as his eyes darted outside. He wouldn't just have left her in the rain? Would he?

Lisa grabbed Paul's hand in hers. I watched as she pulled him down to the seat beside hers, but still, his eyes never left mine. It was as if he was trying to tell me something. Lisa was chatting away to him, but he brushed her aside and made his way towards us. Kim stiffened.

"Where's Lily?" His voice was harsh, as if he hadn't spoken in days. Lisa was watching him from her end of the table, her eyes were glassy with tears. The girl went through more emotions in a minute than I had in an entire lifetime.

"What the fuck do you mean 'where's Lily?'" Kim fired back before I had the chance, "She's supposed to be with you." Jared held tightly onto her arm as she tried to stand up and get in Paul's face.

"She ran away from me," Paul rubbed at the back of his neck, his whole body was shaking, "I-I thought she would be here. I thought she would talk to me here. I need to talk to her, to explain."

"When did you last see her?" Embry sounded more serious than he had in the entire time I had known him, and I loved him for it. He cared about Lily just as much as me.

"I don't know," Paul glanced outside, "An hour ago?"

"An _hour_ ago!?" Paul didn't have time to react as I pounced out of my seat and punched him in the jaw. He didn't even flinch.

"_Fuck!_" I screamed cradling my hand to my chest. Paul was as hard as stone. My whole hand throbbed, it was like it was on fire. Everyone's eyes in the entire restaurant were on me. Emrby pushed me behind him before I could take another swing at Paul. I wanted him to hurt as much as I was hurting, as much as Lily was hurting.

"You hurt Alex," Embry growled. His body was almost blurred that it was shaking so much. He pulled back his fist and punched Paul where I had tried to moments earlier. Paul stumbled backwards as Embry's fist connected with his face, a satisfying crack sounded in the air.

Paul hissed in pain as his body also began to blur. I was very aware that we still had an audience. Lisa was sobbing as she tried to get towards Paul, but Sam pushed her behind him. Good idea. She would only make things worse.

"Stop. _Stop_!" Jared got between Paul and Embry, shoving them both apart, "We don't want anyone to get hurt. Especially the girls." Emrby's eyes immediately flitted to me, while Paul glanced briefly at a pale Lisa.

"He fucking punched me," Paul's voice was low as he continued to advance towards Embry. Kiera was crying, Emily was trying to rock her in her arms. Everything was a mess.

"Get over yourself," I ducked in front of Embry, still cradling my hand to my chest. Embry attempted to push me behind him again, but I glared at him.

"We need to find Lily. She could be anywhere. She could have gone-"

"Home." Kim finished for me. Grabbing my stuff I almost sprinted towards the door ignoring the shouts of concern behind me. Kim was hot on my heels.

She wouldn't have gone back to LA without me. She wouldn't have left me. We needed each other. Our bond was almost as strong as an imprints, I would fall apart without her by my side.

I hissed in pain as Embry caught up with us and pulled on my injured hand.

"You're hurting me," I cried, "Let me go. I need to find her. She can't have left me." I didn't realise I was crying until Embry reached out to wipe the tears from my face. Kim was pushing Jared away from her as he tried to reassure her.

"What did you do to her?" Paul looked broken as he approached us. Dried blood stained his face, and his shirt. He looked wild, his eyes darting around like a trapped wild animal. Through the restaurant window I could see Lisa doubled over crying, her mum rubbing soothing circles on her back. She had no idea what was going on. For the briefest of seconds I felt sorry for her.

"I kissed her. I-"

Before he had the change to say anything else, Jared punched him exactly where Embry had moments earlier. Paul doubled over in pain. He didn't even try to fight back. He looked defeated.

"You stupid, stupid boy," Kim hiccuped, "This will destroy her."

"And what about your imprint who's crying inside? Did you think of her for one minute? This will destroy her too. You are the most selfish person I have ever know," Kim spat each word. She had never sounded so terrifying. Jared had positioned himself between her and Paul, but she didn't need his help, she could hold her own.

"I know. I know," Paul roared and punched the nearby wall over and over again, "I've wrecked everything. Nothing makes any sense."

"If Lily's hurt because of me, I will never be able to live with myself."

"I'll kill you first," I promised.

"Guys," Seth appeared behind us, his usual smiling face turned downwards into a frown.

"Now is not the time Seth," Jared growled as he stared down at Paul. The atmosphere was so heavy that I almost felt suffocated. I leant against Embry in an attempt to stay upright.

"I found Lily's scent," Everyone's eyes snapped to Seth, "But-"

"But what?" I stepped towards Seth, my eyes wide, "What's wrong Seth? Where is she? Is she okay?"

"I smelt something else too," he avoided my eyes.

"What did you smell Seth?" Embry's arm was tight around me. Kim looked like she was about to throw up.

"A vampire."

Paul let out a strangled howl. I would have fallen to the ground if Embry's arms hadn't held me up.

"No, no," Kim was shaking her head from side to side as she clutched desperately onto Jared, "This cannot be happening. Not Lils, she's had enough shit in her life."

My best friend could be dead, and I had been sat in a restaurant flirting with Embry. Turning, I retched into the nearest trash-can. I took a step away from Emrby ignoring the hurt that flashed in his eyes.

"We need to find her. _Now._"

_Thoughts? _


End file.
